[Chapter 8] - The Remains of the Broken Heart

"Stop!" A harsh and stern voice voice sounded through the practice studio. "What had happened to you, Niigaki-san? This is the third time today you had went out of tune while practicing this song. Adding up  the mistakes you had made the past few days, it’s the 10^th time! What is wrong with you?" The producer, Hiroki, retorted out.

"I'm - I'm sorry" Risa muttered out softly under her breath as she glazed upon the ground.

"The competition finals is just in a week time, and Niigaki-san, you are not performing like what you were during the auditions!" Hiroki continued reprimanding Risa with Risa remained where she was all the while.

"I'm . . . sorry. I was just a little distracted. Can I start again?" Risa gulped as she asked for her fourth chance in the rendition of the song she would be performing in the final competition.

"Fine - But if you made the same mistake again, you are out of here today. And if that really happens, I will really reconsider your place in the finals." Hiroki demanded and threatened.

"Hai. Wakarimashita (I've understood.)" Risa responded as she bowed her head lightly, showing her respects and thanks for Hiroki for the final last chance.

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Eri was seated in the living room, reading her book in silence. It was her off day today and she had decided to spend it all alone at home as Risa was off at her practice.

"Tadaima." The dejected voice of Risa sounded in the house and the main door clicked opened.

Eri raised her brows. She directed her attention to the door and saw Risa couching her back as she entered the house. It was obvious to Eri that Risa was upset. "Why are you back so early? I thought you said you won't be back until 8? It's only 6 pm?" Eri asked Risa as Risa trailed slowly towards the study room.

"Well. Practice ended early today. So I'm back early." Risa replied curtly. She was not in a good mood to talk much either and that explained her short and curt answers to Eri's question.

"Hmmm." Eri acknowledged the answer Risa gave, even though she was not satisfied with the way it was delivered. "Have you eaten? There's still some leftovers in the kitchen. Do you want me to heat them up for you?" Eri asked as Risa turned then knob of the study room door.

Risa stopped in her actions and thought for a while before answering. "I don't have any appetite. You can have them. I'm resting first. Ja. " Risa finished off, closing the door after her as she entered the room, leaving Eri alone in the living room, with the worries for Risa filling her mind.

'Something's definitely wrong with her today. Well not only today, but the past few days. She's always restless these few days.' Eri thought in her mind as she continued staring at the closed door. 'Maybe I should talk to her.'  Eri decided.

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"Ahh." Risa let out a soft groan of tiredness and discontentment as she tossed her bag on the floor and slumped her body onto the bed, face burying into the soft comforter . "AHH!" Risa groaned again, this time louder, but still remain unheard by Eri in the living as it was muffled by the quilt.

'Why was it that I was unable to concentrate the past few days. AHHH!' Risa let out her frustration in her mind. 'I almost messed up the last chance today. I wonder if Hiroki-san is really going to strip me off the list for finals in a week time. Well, he asked me to take a rest tomorrow, saying that he have to discuss the issue with the management.' Risa sighed heavily as she remembered the conversation she had with Hiroki earlier on.

She reached out for her phone from her pocket of her jeans. Looking at it, another wave of disappointment washed over her. She gently tossed her phone onto the bed ahead of her and buried her face once more in the quilt.

"AHHHHH!!!" Risa scream out loud this time round, though muffled, but still loud enough that Eri was able to hear it from the living. Tears began squeezing out from her closed eyes and seeping through the quilt.

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"AHHH!" The sound of Risa's frustration sounded clearly in the living room, causing Eri to look up from her book. She frowned at the direction of her study room. 'Maybe, I really should talk to her. Now.' Eri finalised her decision. She closed her book and placed it on the coffee table, stood up and paced lightly to the study room. She knocked gently on the door. "Risa, are you okay?" Eri asked with concern.

"YES!" came the muffled reply from the room.

"Are you sure? Can I come in?" Eri asked again

"YES! I AMMM SURE! NO. I WANT TO BE ALONEEE" The replies from Risa was still muffled, which Eri considered as dangerous.

'That baka, she's gonna suffocates her own self if she continues to bury her face into the comforter.' Eri thought in her mind. "I'm coming in." Eri declared, totally against Risa's wish of being alone.

Risa heard the sound of the turned knob. She flunked back, back on a sitting position on her ankle. Her tears had left blotches of wet spots on the comforter. "I said no." Risa repeated with sadness in her voice as Eri entered her 'room'.

"Do you really think that I will leave you alone in such a state, Risa?" Eri reasoned as she closed the door and sat beside Risa.

Sensing that Eri was right beside her, Risa hurriedly wiped off the remaining tears on her face, not wanting Eri to know that she had cried. "What state? Eri, I am fine." Risa insisted.

"Hmmm." Eri snorted at Risa's insult to her. For Risa to say that she was fine was an insult to Eri. "Come on, Risa, I've known you all my years. Do you really think that I will believe in what you have just said?" Eri continued, slightly hurt that Risa was hiding her emotions from her.

Risa remained quiet and speechless. Eri was right on spot. They have known each other for ages to know what was on each other mind even without saying. Risa allowed her tears to fall once again, sobbing lightly time to time.

'It reminded me of the days when Risa and Sayumi . . . That was the last time she allowed herself to cry so freely. She's always smiling, always happy. Her crying? That's rare, really rare. ' Eri thought as she watched Risa's sobbing.

"Stupid Risa!" Eri cursed as she stomped lightly back to her house. "She ditched me for Sayumi. What a friend is she." Eri continued hissing under her breath.

As she was approaching her home, she noticed a familiar figure leaning against a nearby wall. The body language had showed all. The figure was upset. Eri ran towards the figure and stood in front of her. Sobbing could be heard.

"Risa. . . What happened?" Eri asked.

Risa did not answer her. Her head remained bow down. More sobbing was heard.

"Risa, what happened? Tell me please. It worried me to see you like that." Eri begged as she held onto Risa's shoulders, tugging them gently, hoping Risa would looked up in response to her tugging.

And Risa did.

Risa looked up from the ground and stared at Eri with her teary eyes.

"What happened Risa?" Eri asked once again.

"You're right, Eri . . . I am stupid . . . I am a baka. . . I should have known. . . " Risa said through her sobs.

"Shhh…" Eri hushed as she pulled Risa down to her own shoulder.

And the same image of the crying Risa appeared ahead of Eri once again. This time with more maturity filling her face. More determination to stop her tears. "So, what happened?" Eri asked.

"It's really nothing. . . It's - it's just that I'd got some scolding from the producer and teacher of the competition." Risa sniffed, and explained briefly. "And there may be a possibility that I will be out of the competition.

"And why was it that you had received scolding, Risa?" Eri asked again, hoping Risa would fill in more details rather than just telling her the superficial.

"I went off key a couple of times, missed a few beats and stuffs." Risa explained as she dried up her tears. Talking to Eri had helped her to calm down like always.

"And why was it so?" Eri continued. She knew that Risa was experience enough to not to make these mistakes that Risa herself had condemned as 'dense' mistakes.

"I was distracted. . . and my heart was confused and sad." Risa mumbled softy at the last part.

"Why were you distracted?" Eri asked softly.

"I don't know . . ." Risa answered after thinking for a long time. "I just can't concentrate these days."

"There must be a reason why you were unable to concentrate. And I know that you knew the reason. What's taking away your attention, Risa?" Eri decided to probe in deeper.

"I - I -" Risa was stuck with her words. She closed her mouth and bit her lower lips. She thought for a longer while, before opening her mouth again to speak. "Have you heard anything from Ai-san these days?" Risa finally asked.

'So I was right. That was. No. That is your source of distraction.' Eri thought silently as she watched the slight glimmer in Risa's eyes. That was hope. A hope that Eri would know where Ai was. Eri blinked her eyes and looked away from Risa. She knew that her answer for Risa's question was going to sweep away the slight hope in Risa for that moment. "No. . . I haven't seen or heard anything from Ai-san since that day. She had missed her previous consultation as well. We tried contacting her on her phone, but there was no reply at all. " Eri answered softly.

Risa hung her head down at that answer. 'She avoiding.'

"Haven't you been contacting with her?" Eri questioned.

Risa shook her head. "I sent her a couple of messages. But there wasn't any reply for them." Risa answered with sadness.

"So that was why you were distracted, Risa?" Eri questioned.

Risa nodded her head lightly.

Eri ruffled Risa's hair in an affectionate way. "If you want remove this distraction. Go look for her. Go look for the answers your heart wants to know." Eri advised, causing Risa to look straight into Eri eyes. "You like her, don't you? " Eri finished off, regaining her stand on her feet. "Follow what your heart wants, Risa . . . It's your dream to become a singer, aren't it? And are you going to let it go when you are just one final step towards it?" With that, Eri left the room.

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Risa leaned against the same wall that she had leaned 5 days ago. She checked the time on her watch. '430 pm. Ai-san said that she ends work at 5, didn't she?' Risa thought as she stuffed her hand into the pocket of the same trench coat. And there she stood, observing surges of people exiting the building, watching the everlasting human traffic on the walkway.

Soon, nightfall arrived. Cold breeze of wind brushing against her face. The cold night of winter was starting to kick in. And Risa, was not dressed up properly for winter. There she, still standing at the same position, shivering as wind breezed by. She removed her hand from the pocket and checked her time again on her left hand. '7 pm . . . Why isn't she out yet? Did I missed her? Or she missed work today? Or have she left her job here? Is she really trying that hard to avoid me, avoid us?' Uncertainties began filling Risa's mind.

She placed her hand back into the pocket, hoping that the pocket would be able to warm her cold fingers. She glanced over to the building and noticed a figure standing at the entrance. The light was dim. Risa could not make up the face. But her heart had told her the answer who was that. It was her. The person she had been waiting all these while in the cold, just hoping to catch a glimpse of her, hoping that she would able to talk to her once more.

Risa went forward from her position and stopped in front of the figure. Astonishment could was observed.

(What - What are you doing here, Risa-san) Ai signed after her moments of shock.

"I - I - am waiting - for you" The cold had gotten into Risa. She couldn't help but to chattered in cold as she answered Ai.

(Waiting for me? Why?)

"I - missed you. I want to see you." Risa replied as she looked onto the ground, teeth continued chattering. Her heart winced a little as her brain had decided to go truthful the heart's feeling. She used her tongue to moist her dry lips, that were cracking from the cold. 

Ai blinked her eyes surprisingly. She had not expect Risa to say that. (I - )

"Why are you avoiding me?" Risa asked abruptly, startling Ai once more.

(I am not . . .) Ai signed back, looking away from the demanding eyes of Risa. She would not be able to look into Risa's eyes without her heart gapping, without her heart skipping a beat.

"You're lying. Then -" Risa shivered lightly before being able to continue with her words. "Then why aren't you replying my messages." Risa shivered again. "Why did you missed your consultation with Eri." Risa finished, with her body trembling in cold, against her body's wish.

(I - ) Ai could not find a good explanation. She was indeed trying to avoid them. Because they had seen too much. They had saw the side that she was trying hard to hide from people. She knew they would probed deeper for answers. She would not want to let people to know them. Her deepest hurt. Her deepest betrayal. By the closest people, the dearest people she knew from young. She could not let them know.

"Why?" Risa demanded once again, grabbing Ai's wrist tightly to prevent her from running away if she had the intention to, like the last time at Eri's apartment. "Why?" Risa chattered the second time. Her body was giving in to the cold, causing her unable to articulate clearly.

Ai could feel Risa's cold fingers on her wrist, beneath the thick jacket she was wearing. It felt like placing a piece of frozen ice on her wrist. (Your hands are freezing) Ai signed.

"I don't care. All I want is your answers, your explanation. Nothing else matters right now." Risa insisted, staying firm on the ground, unwilling to let go of Ai.

(We'll find a warm place to talk. Please, Risa-san. I won't want you to die by freezing in the cold.) Ai explained, as she tried to pry off Risa's grip. She then removed her gloves and place them in Risa's hand. (Wear it.)

As Risa put on the gloves, she felt the Ai's warm fingers encircled her cold ones. Risa looked up into Ai's eyes. Ai's eyes was fixed on Risa's hands. Risa, for the first time, notice the gentleness in Ai's beautiful orbs. Fluffiness overtook the cold feeling , warming her fingers all the way to her heart.

'Oh gosh . . . I'm really falling . . . The remains of my broken heart. . . They are now gathered together back once more  . .'