[Chapter 11 - The Confrontation, or Not ]

"Fujimoto-san, do I have anymore appointments after Kurihara-san?" Eri spoke through the intercom.

"No, Kurihara-san is currently your last appointment for today." Miki replied.

"Great. Can you keep the rest of day free for me. I'm gonna leave the office early today." Eri requested.

"Okay. Noted."

"Thank you so much, Fujimoto-san." Eri finished the conversation and hanged up the intercom.

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'Another day had passed again.' Ai thought in her mind as she entered the elevator of her apartment complex. 'I'd made so much mistake today. What is wrong with me today.' Ai continued to question herself as she reflected how her day had went by.

'It's okay to make mistake, Ai-san. All human being makes mistakes, don't we?' The voice of Risa lingered in her mind. That was what Risa had told her just around two weeks ago, when she made her first mistake at work on her second day of work. 'Stop thinking about her anymore, Ai. Don't do that anymore. . . ' Ai thought sadly in her mind. Pushing the thoughts away, Ai reached into her bag and search for her house keys upon arrival at her level.

As she closed into nearer her apartment, she notice a figure sitting on the floor, leaning against the door. 'Eri-san? Why is she here?'

Eri looked up and stood up as she heard the rattling of the metal keys closed in. "Ai-san, you're back! Sorry for sudden visitation."

(No, it's alright.)Ai signed slowly, with slight fear within her heart. She was not prepared to meet Eri or talk to Eri, knowing that Eri will question her about what happened to her that night.

"How have you been these few days, Ai-san?" Eri tried to start the conversation normally as Ai unlocked the door to her apartment.

(Okay I guess?) Ai signed awkwardly as she moved aside to allow Eri to enter her apartment first.

"Ah, Arigatou gozaimashita." Eri thanked as Ai stood aside. "Shiretteshimashita." Eri called out as she stepped into Ai's apartment, removing her shoes in the process as well.

(Nah. You are not.) Ai continued as she moved her hand towards the switch swiftly, switching on the lights to illuminate the dark room. (I'll get you some drinks.) With that, Ai left Eri alone at the doorway as she slipped into the kitchen area, doing the same things that she had done when Risa was here the previous night.

Whereas for Eri, she made her way slowly through the walkway from the door to the sitting area, glancing around the apartment, particularly the very few pictures that were displayed along the cupboard along the way. 'Ah . . . That's Asami-san' Eri noted in her mind as she recognised the other girl in the two shot. Then there was another three shot with Ai, Asami and another girl Eri did not recognised. The third one in line was Ai with a middle aged women while the last was Ai with a little girl. At the other end of the table top that holds the photo frames was the violet box. 'She took it back with her?' Kamei thought silently in her mind.

She then allow herself to proceed to the sofa and settled herself on it. Her eyes wondered around the room, hoping that she would understand a little bit more about Ai through the way she decorates her living space. 'It seems like the clocks she had are all digital clocks.' Eri observed as she saw one right above the main door while the other at her bedside. 'The watch that Risa got for her, it was an analogue, wasn't it? Something terrible from young from the sound of the clock had result in her current situation?' Eri was all lost in her own thoughts. The sound of the glass touching the wooden surface brought Eri back from her world of thoughts.

"Thanks." Eri responded as she picked up the warm cup and brought it to her lips.

(You're welcome) Ai signed awkwardly as she sat back at the same position, beside the Art book that was on the wooden table. (How did you know my address, Eri-san) Ai continued slowly and cautiously.

"It was written in your records. I asked Fujimoto-san for it." Eri answered with a slight smile on her face.

Ai nodded her lightly at the answer given.

Silence fell into the space, with Ai focusing on the tiled flooring of her apartment, and Eri watching at Ai.

Ai looked up suddenly, shocking Eri. (Is there anything that you wanna to ask me? If yes, just ask. Don't have to keep silent. You don't have to.)

"Yes Ai-san, I have ten thousand questions in my mind right now to ask you, but would you answer every of them?" Eri countered, looking straight into Ai's eyes, in eager that she would receive a real genuine answer through her eyes. Ai looked away immediately, breaking the eye contact Eri was trying to maintain.

Silence fell in once again. Eri, in desperation, placed the cup she was holding on onto the floor and leaned forward, grabbing Ai's hands in her grip.

"Ai-san, both Risa and I had really, truly, from the deepest of our heart, want to help you. Will you allow us to help you?" Eri asked passionately, hoping that Ai would be able to sense the sincerity she had.

'No. Ai. It doesn’t really matters anymore. Whether or not you can speak, it's not gonna change the fact that they had abandoned you, Ai. Even if you could speak now, they are not going to come back for you. No they will not.' Ai had her eyes closed, refusing to make any eye contact with Eri. She started to wriggle her hand, trying to had her hands off Eri's grip.

(You don't have to, Eri-san. I'm fine living alone. I'm fine with not being able to talk. I'm fine with not receiving any help. You really do not have to do it. ) Ai signed, after successful had her hands wriggled out of Eri's grip. 'Let's go . . . ' The voice from her dreams started ringing in her mind once again.

Eri looked dubiously at Ai, confused about her sudden confrontation.

(It doesn't matters to me anymore, whether am I be able to speak anymore. Not anymore. It’s not going to change what had happened in the past. Impossible.) Ai continued as she fought against her tears from forming. 'They are not coming back anymore. Not anymore.'

"You would feel better if you share it out, Ai-san. Rather than keeping everything inside yourself, why not tell me, or even Risa, so that we can share it with you, whatever that is hurting you inside." Eri advised as she stood up from the seat and moved closer to the wooden coffee table, closing the distance between them.

'Mama . . .Papa . . . '

"Bye Bye, Ai-chan! Enjoy your day in school!" The gentle voice sounded as she let go of the hands of little Ai.

'I'm scared . . . . Mama. . . I'm scared . . .'

Ai felt her hands began to tremble. 'Not now, Ai, not again.' Sensing Eri's close distance from her, Ai hid her hands behind her back, trying to prevent Eri from seeing her trembling hands.

Ai got up from the table and went into the kitchen where her handbag was. Pulling the sachet that contain the white pills, Ai took 3 pills and placed it in her palm. Before she could  popped it into her mouth, Eri grabbed her trembling hand firmly.

"Why are you taking so many of them. What was the actual prescription of dosage given to you, Ai-san?" Eri asked as she removed the sachet and pills from Ai.

Bitting on her upper lips, Ai looked away from Eri, refusing to make any eye contact with Eri.

"These tranquilisers are not obtainable over the counters at the pharmacy, Ai-san." Eri's voice had turn serious.

Ai continued to look away from Eri despite Eri's pleading eyes for Ai to look in her direction.

"You are not visiting a psychiatrist, aren't you? How did you get them, Ai-san." Eri continued, with her voice turning a little softer this time round.

Ai closed her eyes as she heard Eri's voice turning into desperation. Her hands are still trembling, slightly more vigorously as compared to moments before.

"Ai-san. . ." Eri called out as she tighten the grip on Ai's hands.

Ai tried to loosen the grip and broke free of Eri's contact. (I know what you want to say. I know what these tranquilisers do. ) Ai signed with her trembling hands.

"Then why? And how did you get your hands on them?" Eri continued asking.

(You don't have to know, Eri-san. It's better for you to not know anymore things about me, Eri-san. Stop getting near me. It's not going to work at all.) With that, Ai took back the tranquiliser back from Eri and dragged Eri back to the main entrance. (See . . . I thank you for your concern but you shouldn't continue to do it end more. I'm just a bottomless pit, the more you care, the more you fall and I am still as such. No point, Eri-san.) With that, Ai closed the door on Eri.

"Wait a minute, Ai-san!" Eri called out as she bang loudly on the door. "Ai-san?!" Eri shouted the second time when she got no response from Ai. Eri knocked against the door once again. "Ai-san?" Eri called out desperately once again. Receiving no response by the house owner, Eri allow herself to slip down at the door step. 'What had happened just now? She wasn't like this before. Not before that time at my house.'

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'What had I done?' Ai asked herself mentally, realising what she had just done, and had dropped down onto the floor. 'Did I just push her out of my house? Since when do you do these kind of stuffs, Takahashi Ai?' Ai continued questioning her mental state, with her fingers running through her hair , ruffling them and pulling them from time to time. 'Ai, you are such a unwanted person on earth, do you realise? You are not contributing to anything, and you had caused so much trouble for everyone, for Nakazawa-san, for Abe-san, for Asami-chan, for Eri-san, for Risa-san. You are nothing but trouble, haven't you realised?' Ai continued in her mind, breaking into a silent cry, with tears flowing endlessly down her cheeks.

Seizure had came attacking on her. Heaving deep breaths before each tear drop that had fell, Ai slowly crawled her way to the kitchen and forced the pills down her throat.

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"Eri?" Risa knocked against the bedroom door of Eri as she called out. Receiving no response by the owner, Risa, at her own discrete, opened the bedroom door, only to be welcome by the darkness. "Eri?" Flicking the switch on, the room was then illuminated and emptiness was registered in Risa's mind. 'Eri's not back home yet?' Risa questioned in her mind. Switching the lights off, Risa exited the room. 'Where had Eri gone? That's usual of her to be back so late. . . Not to mention that she had missed the new series of lessons for advance course.'

Crossing across the living room and back into the study room, Risa placed the books and notes she was holding on her hand on the study table before sloping down on the chair. She had left the room door open, such that she would be able to catch Eri's return. Retrieving her MD player from her back, she popped in the demo disc of the instrumental Hiroki made for her and began to listen to it on repeat through her headphone. Humming the tune softly, until the part where like the most, she began to whisper out the words that she liked the most.

kimi ga kakaeteru kanashimi o

boku wa doredake nugueru kana

meni wa mienai sono kizuato ga

itsuno hi ga

kieru you ni to negauyo

(Will I be the only one to be able to wipe away

the sorrow the you held in your hand

And I really wish that

those invisible scars of yours

will disappear someday)

'Nee, Do you know that, my heart is also hurting, by the fact that you're hurting inside, Ai-san' Risa thought sadly in her mind, as she allow the crystal from her eye to slide down her face.

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Sliding the key into the keyhole, Eri turned to unlocked the main door of her house. "Tadaima" She managed to whisper from her tiredness. After waiting outside Ai's apartment for an hour without any response from the former girl, Eri had decided to head home, with the intention to visit her once again, where the former is more open to her visitation.

From her position at the doorway, she noticed Risa was sitting at her study table, dazing into the space with the headphones in her ears. 'Is she alright?' Eri thought. Letting a deep sigh to express her fatigue, she had decided to let Risa to be, deciding that Risa may want some time alone. She too needed some time alone, to think about what had happened just now as well.

Taking light steps to prevent making loud sounds when moving, Eri managed to sneak back into her room without Risa's acknowledgement. 'What happened to Ai-san? She's a little bit offensive today.' Eri thought as slopped her tired self on her comfy couch, with her eyes closed.

'I'm fine with not being able to talk, Eri-san' Remembering the sign Ai signed, Eri, once again let off another desperate sigh. 'What made her said that? If she's fine with not being to talk, why is she still visiting Nakazawa-san till this day? Has she gotten herself into a state of self-destruction? I hope not . . . And Risa . . . And the tranquilisers, that's another issue to worry about.' Deciding that it was time for her to wash up and do some following up of the incident today, Eri opened her eyes, only to be welcomed by a familiar face.

"Ah!" Eri screamed out at the top of her voice when she realised Risa was sticking her face towards her own. Pushing Risa away from her, she continued, "What are trying to do, scaring death out of me?"

"Hmm hmm" Risa replied as she shook her head. "How did you get in without me knowing? I even kept my door so that I will be able to notice you coming back." Risa continued with a slight pout on her face.

"I have my own ways to." Eri answered. "So, what are doing here in my room?"

"I wanna to pass you these." Risa pointed out, as she place what she was holding in her hands into Eri's. "It's the ticket and backstage pass for the competition this Sunday. You're coming right?"

"Why would I missed it? It's the day where my best friend is going to have her dreams come through. No way I'm gonna missed it." Eri stated as excitedly as she could, though tiredness could still be noted in her voice. "So . . . Feeling better already? You are just 4 days away from the competition." Eri continued.

"Slightly, hopefully. My actions yesterday . . . Do you think it would affect Ai-san situation? I - really didn't meant to walk out just like that. But . . . I should apologise to her, right?" Risa continued.

But all received for response was a playful shove in the head by Eri. "Didn't I say that you shouldn't be too worried about this now? Of course I knew you meant nothing by walking out, you're just confused inside. About whether Ai-san is affected by it, it's not your thing to worry about it now."

"But . . ."

"As for now, focus on your competition. We can work things out after that, okay?" Eri finished, shoving Risa's head to the side once again. 'Don't agitate Ai-san anymore. She seems really emotionally unstable today.'

'I should still apologise to her first.' Looking at Eri, Risa could not help but to just notice the tiredness of Eri from her eyes. "Did something happened today? You looked really tired and upset. You even missed the advance lessons for sign language today."

"OH! I totally forgot!" Eri exclaimed at the mention of their lesson.

"Are you really okay?" Risa asked caringly.

"Yes. Just had a long day from work today. Something important had crept up that the lesson had slipped out of mind." Eri assured.

"You sure?"

"Yes." Eri finalised.

"I shall not disturb you then. Rest early, Eri. Sweet dreams!" Risa finished as she stood up and exited Eri's room. 'Sweet dreams? That was what I always told Ai-san when we finish out messaging session.' Risa could not help it but to remember the days where the two were fervently messaging each other each night. 'I kind of miss that.'

Making her way back to the study room, Risa took out her phone and began to work on her message.

{I'm sorry. about last night. I didn't mean to walk out. Sorry, Ai-san - Risa}

Mustering the courage that she needs, Risa finally pressed the send button. 'I should rest early too. Tomorrow is a long day ahead, Vocal training, contract explanation and vocal training again. . '.