[Chapter 12 - Not by Intention]

'Who are you . . . Why are you looking at me with that expression. . . with that eyes of yours. . .'

Ai opened her eyes, only to find herself lying on the floor of the kitchen. 'What am I doing here?' Holding onto the kitchen counter, Ai manage to herself off the kitchen floor and back on her feet.

As she discover the tranquiliser pills lying on her countertop, she then realised, 'Did I had my seizure again last night?' Closing her eyes, Ai forced herself to remember what had happened last night. 'It seems like so that that happened.' Packing the sachet back into her handbag, she proceeded back to the main living area and placed the bag onto the sofa.

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"Good, Niigaki-san. You are performing very well today. Just need to take note the parts where you need to raise half a key."

"Hai! Wakarimashita!"

"We will continued the lessons later after the meeting at the label company. Would you please wait at the waiting room with the others while the last girl finishes?"

"Hai!"

With that, Risa exited the training room and headed towards the waiting room, where the rest of the contestants were waiting.

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"Good morning, Kamei-san." Fujimoto greeted as she stepped into the center.

"Good morning to you too, Fujimoto-san." Eri returned the greetings before heading towards her office. Before she could enter the room, Miki stopped her.

"Ah, Kamei-san" Miki called out, causing Eri to turn back to face Miki.

"Yes? Is there any matters that I can help you?" Eri asked politely.

"Nakazawa-san had asked for you in her room the first thing in the morning." Miki explained.

"Ah- Wakarimashita. Thank you for informing. I will place my stuffs in my office first, before proceeding to her room." Eri finished. 'Ah- that's the last thing I wanna to do. Oh please, let her not ask me questions on Ai-san.'

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"Takahashi-san?" A voice called out.

Ai looked up from the work she was doing and turned to the direction of the call.

"Iida-san asked for you in her room."

Ai nodded her head in acknowledgement. Putting down the file that she was working on, she stood up from her seat and proceeded straight to the manager office. Knocking a few times politely on the door, Ai waited patiently outside for the permission for entry.

"Come in."

Ai entered the room, bowing a little to show her respect, before approaching the manager at the working desk.

"Takahashi-san, the team from the talent show is going to come in this afternoon to have the gist of the contract discuss. Can please work out this copy of contract before this afternoon for the meeting? Also, can you be present for the meeting this afternoon to keep records and stuffs?" Iida Kaori, the manager of the department ordered.

Ai had her eyes shot open, showing her surprise at the request of her manager. 'Why is she giving such a chance? I'm just a handicapped worker in this company . . .'

Kaori, seemingly to understand what had just went through Ai's mind, went on, "I like the way you work. It doesn't matters to whether can you speak or not, are you normal or not. As long as you work hard and have good results, that's the kind of worker I want. You can do it, Takahashi-san."

Ai immediately went into a 90 degree bow, showing her deepest gratitude to her boss, for the understanding she had for. Collecting the given documents from Kaori's desk, Ai immediately left the room, and began working on them. 'This was the first time I was praised from work. . .' Excitement gradually filled her mind, before the negative thoughts came attacking again. 'Are you going to take people's sympathy for you as praise, Ai?' Ai frowned lightly at that thought. 'Could it be that, really, it was just a sympathy for me, and not a chance?' Ai stopped her fingers on her keyboard and began to space out on the documents. 'It could be . . . Don't hold high hopes for yourself, Ai . . . The higher you climb, the greater the fall. '  Ai continued to think bitterly inside herself.

Realising she was spacing out too much, Ai shook the thoughts away from her mind and began to work on the document. And that was until her eyes caught a familiar name on the document, leading to her spacing out again. 'Niigaki Risa'

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Instead of looking out of the window of the mini bus like she would usually do, Risa was staring at the screen of her mobile phone.

'She had yet to reply any of my messages I sent. Was she upset that I - left ? Why had I did that. You are truly a moron, Risa. If you had be able to express truly yourself that night, all these would not be happening now. What were you afraid of, Risa? Being rejected like what happened with Sayumin?  Or ? Fearing that your heart would be hurt again? What makes you think that just walking out then would not have hurt her? Aren’t you being very selfish then?' The conscience of Risa had finally started to drop sense into her mind.

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"Nakazawa-san, are you looking for me? I was informed by Fujimoto-san that you want to see me. " Eri spoke as she stepped into the office of Yuko.

"Yes, I did told Fujimoto that I want to see you." Yuko replied as she rested her elbow on the table and leaned slightly forward. "Have a seat. I just have a few questions to ask you." Yuko continued as she pointed to the chair before her. "I went to your office yesterday, wanting to talk to you about some issues, and Fujimoto told me that you had went off earlier."

"Hai. I had something to deal with, that's why I'd left earlier." Eri answered, as trying to dodge the deadly stares Yuko was giving her.

"Have you went to find Ai-chan?" Yuko continued asking.

"Yes. I'd asked for her address from Fujimoto-san."

"And?"

"And . . . ." Eri was lost for words. She was unsure where should she start from, nor what she should say and what she should not.

"Start from the first day you have met Ai-chan. Tell me everything about since the day, and maybe I can give you one cent of my opinion. Don't think you can hide anything from me. Ai-chan is just like a baby sister to me. So, say" Yuko continued with her strict tone.

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"Takahashi-san?" Kaori called out, as she stood in front of the desk.

Ai had long finished the document required for the meeting and had sank into a moment of spacing out ever since. Having heard her name being called, she snapped out her thoughts and looked at Kaori.

"It's time for meeting. Let's go." Kaori finished before turning around and headed towards the meeting room.

'So fast? I'm not prepared to meet her yet. . . not after she had closed that door that day. . . ' Ai thought in her mind. Realising that Kaori was nearing the meeting room, Ai quickly packed the stuffs required for the meeting and chased after Kaori.

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'So . . . this is the label company that is sponsoring this competition.' Risa noted silently in her mind as the group of them stood at the reception lobby of the building, waiting for further information given. Subconsciously, Risa directed her attention outside the building, towards the position where she stood 2 days ago. 'The expression she had on her face . . . I will never forget that. . . The softness of care and love. . .Would I be able to meet her today over here?'

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"I couldn't find out where did she got her tranquilisers. During her visitation at my house, two of them was able to stop her from her seizure and knock her down. However when I visited her yesterday, she attempted to take 3 just to stop her hands from trembling. I'm not sure how long have she been taking them, or how intensive are dosages. It seemed to be that she might have develop some tolerance towards it, thus having to increase the dosage herself. It's very dangerous for her to do that, and Nakazawa-san, I really don't know what can I do to help. . . " Eri confessed the wrong situation that had happened to Yuko, who now had her serious expression off her face and was replaced with a worried one.

"Let's visit Ai-chan again." Yuko decided.

"But . . . She's at a really easily agitated state right now. Wouldn't it be better not to visit her right now such that we would not agitate her to a higher state?" Eri questioned.

"I will go with you this time round." Yuko finished.

"EH-"

"That's finalised. We will leave straight after work." Yuko ordered, leaving Eri with no other choices but to agree.

"Hai."

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"Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu!" The team echoed as they entered the meeting room, where Kaori and Ai was already seated in.

"Please take your seats at your names." Kaori spoke.

The people took their respective seats as they were asked to. And that was when Risa had notice Ai was in there. 'This can't be true.'  Risa could feel her heartbeat accelerating. Slight shade of redness could be observed across her cheek.

Sensing the incoming of people into the room, Ai looked up from the papers that were set in front of her. And there, their eyes met.

"The meeting today is to discuss the brief details that are planned out in this short period of time. Even though, right now, we are unsure which one of you will be selected  on the final round, we are all going to listen to your views on what was in the contract, and explanation of any clauses that anyone of you do not understand." Kaori started off, catching the attention of all in the room, thus breaking the eye contact between Ai and Risa.

"Hai." The team responded in unison.

And as the meeting proceeded, Risa couldn't help but to steal glances at Ai from time to time, hoping that Ai would look at her in some way. 'How I wish she would look at my direction. '

Whereas for Ai, she could not help but to feel uneasy at the glances Risa gave from time to time. 'Please . . . End this meeting soon, such that I can get out of here as soon as possible.

"That's all for now. I thank you for all your opinions today and I look forward to see who's going to step into this office again in a few days time. Please do your best for the final show down. Arigatou gozaimashita. " Kaori finished up and signalled Ai to get up and open the door of the meeting room.

Doing what she was asked to, Ai held the door open as the contestants of the competitions exited the room. Risa stood at one corner of the room, allowing the rest of them to leave the room first. I want to talk to her. . . I haven't spoke to her for days.'

"You're not leaving ?" Hiroki asked when he realised Risa was still in the room.

"Ah, Hiroki-san, I'm number 9 for the vocal training later one right? Can I go back to the TV station slightly later without the group? I have some other things to do. I will definitely be back before my turn." Risa requested, bowing her head a little.

'What are you intending to do again, Risa-san?' Ai thought as she frowned a little. The scene before her was a little bit not to her liking.

"Shouldn't be a problem for me. Make sure you fix that key problem of yours before coming in will do." With that, Hiroki left the meeting room, muttering a soft thanks to Ai who was still holding the door open.

"Ah - You are Niigaki-san . . . Am I right?" Kaori went off, trying to remember her name by her seat position around the meeting table previously.

"Hai! Niigaki Risa desu. Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu." Risa self-introduced.

"Niigaki Risa. Your names sounds familiar, but I just can't remember where had I heard that name." Kaori continued.

"Ah . . ." was the only response from Risa. 'I think you remember my name from the newspapers. They always mentioned my name when they talked about my papa on the newspaper. But there's no way I'm gonna to tell her who am I. It's better if things are left like what it is now.' Risa thought.

"Anyway, you are not leaving?" Kaori continued asking as she stepped slightly forward, just beside Ai now.

"After you." Risa gestured.

"Thank you." Kaori thanked. Turning towards Ai now, she continued softly, "Can you include the news points included in today's meeting into the contract and also make amendments to the points discussed today? Draft out by this evening, is that possible for you?"   

Ai nodded her head lightly.

"Arigatou. You are of a great help today." Kaori finished and proceeded out of the room and back to her office.

'AH! Don't leave me alone yet. . . ' Ai thought as she deepen her frown. 'I . . . don't have anything to talk to her. ' Pouting a little , Ai turned around and faced Risa, shooting her with a glare that Risa had never seen from that gentle girl.

"Ai-san . . ." Risa called out as she licked her lips nervously.

(You're not leaving?) Ai signed as she stopped glaring.

"I - I " Risa shuttered with her nervously filling up her heart.

(If you are not leaving, I am.) Ai continued without allowing Risa to finish with her words. She moved back to the meeting room and gathered her stuffs in her hands and prepared to leave the room.

"Wait Ai-san, I wanna to talk to you. . ." Risa pleaded, but was cut off by Ai before she could reach her main point.

(Stop saying that you want to talk to me when you do not have the intention to. You don't have to play nice to me.) Ai signed, remembering the night that broke her heart. Tears was forming in her eye but she kept them there, and not letting them to fall off her face. Gathering the papers she had dropped on the floor when she signed, Ai left the meeting room, leaving Risa standing alone in the room.

'I guess . . .I'd really hurt her when I left her house. It's all your selfishness, Risa.' Looking in the way where Ai left, Risa could felt the salty tears in her mouth. 'Ai-san, it's never by intention that I'd hurt. I never thought I would hurt you. What can I do, to make you trust me again?'

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"What time will Ai-chan comes back?" Yuko asked for the third time in the an hour of waiting outside the apartment.

"I - I'm not sure, Nakazawa-san. She never told me what time she ends her work. Probably, she's doing over time today?" Eri suggested. She will slightly terrified by the worried and angry Yuko in front of her.

Just Eri finished her sentence, a 'ding' sound was heard, indicating that the door of the elevator was opened.

Yuko turned around immediately to see who was it, and it was indeed the person the two of them had been waiting for the hour.

"Ai-chan! You're back!" Yuko cried out and lugged Ai into a huge hug, scaring the poor girl.

'EH? Nakazawa-san?' Ai thought in her shock.

"How are you? I missed you so much, cutie little girl." Yuko continued, patting Ai's bangs.

(Nakazawa-san, what are you doing over here?) Ai signed as she tried to get away from Yuko's hug.

"Because I heard from someone that my cute girl is not feeling well, Ai-chan." Yuko answered in her strict and funny tone.

'Eh?' Ai wondered. And that only persisted for a short while as she had finally noticed Eri, with her facial expression showing nothing but shock, standing awkwardly behind Yuko. 'So . . . It's about that issue. . . '

"Hi - Hi, Ai-san. " Eri stuttered a little bit.

"Maa, Ai-chan, let's get us in. We have been waiting here for an hour already." Yuko broke the awkwardness and pushed Ai lightly towards the door, signally her to unlock the door.

(Hai) Ai nodded her head as she signed.

In the apartment, Yuko made her way swiftly to the sofa and sat down while Eri remained standing near the door, being unsure about her current position in the situation.

(Do you all need any drinks?) Ai asked as she placed her bag at the kitchen counter table. Eri shook her head humbly.

"No. Ai-chan. I don't need either. Come over, I have something to ask you." Yuko called out.

Ai made her way slowly towards Yuko and sat at the seat beside Yuko.

"Ai-chan, have you been taking tranquilisers?" Yuko asked

Ai nodded her head lightly, bitting at the lower lips at the same time.

"For how long?" Yuko continued.

(A few years.) Ai hung her head down in shame.

"How?"

(I read it from books that it can helps to ease some trembling and seizure that I get from time to time. And I wanted to try it.) Ai signed

"And do you know that you need a psychiatrist prescription for them? Not everyone can take the same dosage as what you have read in the books, do you that?" Yuko continued.

Ai nodded her head.

"Will you promise me that you will not take them again?"

(I will try . . . but Nakazawa-san, I will promise I won't abuse them.) Ai finished.

'Is this how their normal sessions happen? Ai-san just told all the answers that Nakazawa-san had asked. And she didn’t even answered one of mine yesterday. . . If that was the case, why did Nakazawa-san chose to give this case to me?' Eri thought in her mind, still in the shock by the scene before her.

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"Nakazawa-san, can I ask you a question?" Eri asked as Yuko and her walked along the brightly illuminated streets. The both of them had spent another hour at Ai's apartment, mainly with Nakazawa-san catching up with Ai and her new workplace.

"Yes, what do you want to ask me, Kamei-san?"

"Takahashi-san seems to trust you a lot. She don't hide stuffs from you, don't she?" Eri continued her questions.

"You can say that so."

"So . .  . Why did you pass on her case to me? Since she's comfortable and trust you so much, wouldn't it be easier for you to approach her instead of me, someone whom she barely knew?" Eri questioned.

"How should I say  . . . Basically, I watched Ai-chan grew up. The kind of trust she gave me was a form of respect. She had told me before that she won't lie to me because she respects me. And that's all. The trust she needs to have in order to share the hurt, the pain she's feeling in here," Yuko explained, pointing to the position of her heart, " is different from the trust of respect she gave me. It requires more than a trust of respect to understand and feel what she has been suffering from inside. And therefore I thought, maybe it's time to pass on the case, to someone closer to her age, who may be able to understand what kind of issues that affects her the most. Do you understand now, Kamei-san?:

"Wakarimashita." Eri responded. She was amazed by the explanation Yuko had just gave. 'Comparing the way she speaks now and the way she spoke to Ai-san just now, Nakazawa-san is really an amazing person . . . ' "I will do my best to help Takahashi-san!"