[Chapter 18] - Don't Leave Me

"I have decided." Retora cleared his throat and spoke over the dining table during breakfast. "You are going to get married the eldest son of Matsumoto Corporation."

"WHAT?!" Risa blurted her first sentence towards her father since the day he had dragged her home a month ago. "No way." Risa continued defiantly.

"It's your mess to clean up, Risa. It's because of all what you had done, which had led to what the company is facing right now. All the other business corporations had boycotted us, saying that MY daughter, which is you, is a huge disgrace! Getting married to Matsumoto is the only way to clear the mess you had made!" Retora lectured across the table, causing Risa to fall into silence. "Make sure you attend the press conference this afternoon." He continued to order.

"No way." Risa muttered as she stood up from her seat and walked away from the table.

"Don't think that you can escape the truth by not attending the press conference. I will still announce this even if you are not attending." Retora challenged.

"I'm still not going." Risa returned defiantly as she stomped her way up the stairs and back into her room.

'There's no way I'm gonna to allow that to happen. He had taken away my freedom . . . There's no way I'm gonna to allow him to take away the only happiness that I can have . . . I need to get away. . . ' Risa thought.

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Ai sat alone at the corner of the recreation room of the psychiatric ward, staring at the screen of the television. Though her eyes were fixed on the television, her mind was not. Like any other people in the room, her mind was somewhere else.

{Ai, can you please reply my message. Once. Once will do. At least please let me know how are you doing now. And that's enough. Really. Please. - Risa}

Ai had her mind on the latest mail she had gotten from Risa. Even though Ai had been ignoring every one of them, it seems like the other girl had no intention of giving up until she had received once decent reply from Ai. 'Maybe . . . I should . . .'

" Sorry for interrupting this programme, but we have just receive a news regarding the ongoing press conference which the Niigaki Corporation is holding this afternoon. . . "

The name 'Niigaki Corporation' had brought her mind and attention back to the television. 'Niigaki Corporation . . . Risa-san . . . Mama . . . Papa. . . ' Ai tried to shut her thought at the memory, but she failed.

"My daughter had expressed her interest on the eldest son of Matsumoto Corporation even since at a young age. And since my daughter is at the age of marriage, I will hereby announce the marriage between Matsumoto Naoki and my daughter, Niigaki Risa. The ceremony will be held in three months time -"

And the television screen went blank, causing the rest of the occupants of the room to turn their attention to Ai at the sudden silence. Throwing the remote control back onto the couch she was seated in, Ai stomped back into her room.

'Lies . . . Lies . . . All those she had said, all those she had been messaging me . . .they are all lies. ALL LIES!'

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Eri giggled softly at the joke Miki had just told her. The two of them were having their lunch together at the nearby café from their workplace.

"Don't say such things, Miki-san. It sounds so stupid coming from you." Eri laughed again.

"At least you are cheered up now, Eri-san. For the whole month, you have been so tense up." Miki reasoned.

"Well, it was indeed a long month for me, with so much things happening around me. At least for now, thankfully, Ai's withdrawal symptoms from the tranquiliser are at the brighter side. Hopefully she will start communicating to us again . . ." Eri sighed deeply as she continued, turning her attention towards the television behind Miki.

". . . I will hereby announce the marriage between Matsumoto Naoki and my daughter, Niigaki Risa. The ceremony will be held in three months time at the. . ."

"Are you serious?!" Eri exclaimed as she shot up from her seat. Fishing her phone out from her handbag, Eri called the person of interest that had caused her sudden shock.

"What happened?" Miki puzzled, blinking questionably at Eri's action.

Eri shook her head at Miki's question as she held her phone to her ears, waiting for the girl to answer her call.

"RISA!" Eri shouted into the phone. "Is that the truth? What your dad had said over the media?"

"He really did that?!" Risa groaned in exasperation over the phone.

And silence persisted within the conversation for a moment.

"Are you really going to marry to that Matsumoto Naoki? He's a jerk!" Eri continued asking, when she realised that Risa and sunk into silence. And that statement from Eri surprised Miki, for that it was the first time Miki had heard Eri using such crude language.

". . . . . . " Silence was the only answer Eri got from Risa.

"Risa?" Eri spoke into the receiver, hoping to get some attention from her best friend.

"I will talk to you again, Eri. Until I had my thoughts settled." Risa answered after the prompt from Eri. "Thank you for calling, Eri . . . "

"RISA?" Eri exclaimed. And the next moment, before Eri could say anything else, she was cut off the line. Eri let out an angry groaned as she removed the phone away from her ear and threw it back into her handbag. "Baka." Eri muttered under her breath.

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'He did it again . . .Against my wish, against my will. . . And why am I still doing here, in this house where there's no freedom, no live?' Risa thought bitterly as she placed her mobile phone on the dressing table and flopped herself onto her comfy bed, face flat on the soft cover.

"Risa . . . Don’t think about too much now. We will thing about the solution to get you out of the house soon, okay? As for now, don't torture yourself. You need to keep yourself alive, for the things you have been chasing for all these while. Don't starve yourself anymore."

'Eri's right. I shouldn’t be torturing myself.' Risa thought as she got off her bed, wobbling a little as her feet touched the ground. She stumbled slowly towards the table where Renni had left the food on and sat down on the chair, picking up the utensils and began to bring the food slowly into her mouth.

'What am I suppose to do now? What's my purpose now?' Risa wondered in her mind as she picked up another spoonful of rice. 'How is she? Why did Eri told me anything regarding her? Did something bad happened to her?' Placing the food back to the plate, Risa got up from the chair and back to her bed where her phone was.

{What are you doing now? I'm missing you so much, Ai. Would you please, please reply me? What should I do now? I wanna to be by your side right now, but I can't. Do you want me to be with you, Ai? Reply me please! -Risa}  

(I have thought about it. In the end, I don't think I can trust my heart to anybody else except myself, Risa)

'Am I that not trustable?'

And when Risa opened her eyes, she realised, it was already starting to get dark. The orange light outside the window told Risa evening was coming. 'How long have I been lying there?' Risa wondered as she pushed herself up to a sitting position.

'I must do something. . . Maybe I should get away again?' The thought of running away from home again rang in Risa's mind. However, it had only lasted for a short moment. 'But where else can I go? There's no way I can go to Eri again. They would have guessed that so. I need to get to somewhere where no one else knew, no one else could find me . . . '

And Risa sat at the position for an hour, racking her brain for possible places she could go, until a knock at the door brought her back to reality.

"Risa-ko, dinner's ready"

"Okay. I'm coming." Risa replied monotonously as she got up from her position. 'Tonight's gonna be the night. I can't stay here anymore. Not anymore.'

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"Ai-san, I'm coming in." Eri informed as she knocked the door of Ai's room before entering.

Just like the other days, Ai just sat on her bed, not making any eye contact with Eri nor having any signs of wanting to communicate to Eri. Things had been so much better now as compared to a month ago, where Ai practically drove everyone who came for visitation out of the room.

"How's your day today, Ai-san?" Eri walked over to the bed and sat down on the chair by the bedside.

Ai made no effort in trying to reply Eri. Instead, she turned away from facing Eri and focused on the water dispenser on the other side of the room.

'You are still not communicating to anyone, Ai-san. What had happened to you? You were not like this when I first knew you. What had caused your total mutism to further progress to an advance state?' Eri thought desperately in her mind as she furrowed her eyebrow to show her worries and frustration.

Eri then turned, glancing around the room to note the surrounding, making notes to herself how would had Ai's day went by. Her eyes stopped when she reached the corner or the room, right where the door was situated. And there, a broken phone as laid. Eri stood up from the seat and walked over, picking up the very much damaged phone from the floor.

"What happened to your phone, Ai-san?" Eri asked hopefully, though she had no expectation that Ai would answer her question. And there, she was right with her expectation. Ai looked away from the eye contact Eri made and stared off to the other side of the room.

"Ai-san. If you don't say anything, I can't help with anything, do you know that? All of us are so worried till dead for you." Eri cried out, hoping that this would evoke any reaction from Ai.

'You don't have to. I'm better off alone. There's no need for you to do that, Eri-san.'  Ai thought in her mind as she remained staring at the empty space of the room.

"Ai-san!" Eri called out again.

And this time round, Ai reacted. She got off her bed from the other side and grabbed Eri's handbag by the bed. Pacing herself towards Eri, she shoved the bag into Eri's arm and pulled her wrist, until she reached the door. Pushing Eri lightly outside the room, Ai closed the door right onto Eri's face.

'What had happened to her again? I thought she was alright with us visiting the past few days. What had caused her to start throwing people out of her room again? What had caused her to throw her phone at the wall, until such a damage?' Eri questioned within herself as she scrutinised the broken mobile phone on her palm.

"Missy!" Eri called out to one of the nurses down the counter. "Can I asked what had Takahashi-san did today?"

"She spent most of her afternoon in the recreation room. She was all normal, doing the usual things she does every day. But all of the sudden, she switched the television off and stomped back to her room." The nurse informed.

'Recreation room. . . Television . . . TELEVISION?!' Realisation struck Eri. "Thank you for informing." Eri thanked the nursed. She then turned to another direction, making her way out of hospital. 'So . . .Risa still affects the way she reacts very much. . . '

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It was 11 pm in the night. Risa, sifting her way through her bedroom in the dark, was trying to pack her necessities that she would need into her backpack. 'This is the last.'  Risa thought as she grabbed her passport from her safe locker and slipped it into her backpack, zipping them up in the process. Glancing through her room for the one last time, Risa held her right hand at the door knob and turned it slowly, reducing the amount of sound she would made.

And as the door opened, she was froze in her steps. 'Mama . . .'  Risa called out in her mind. Renni as seated at the stairway, looking at Risa straight into the eye. 'What is Mama doing here?'

"I knew you are going to run away again tonight." Renni whispered softly.

Risa looked away to her left side, trying to hide the guiltiness she felt for being exposed.

"Before you leave, can you accompany Mama to one place?" Renni asked softly.

And that caught Risa in surprised. She looked up once again at Renni with her wide opened eyes. 'Mama's gonna let me leave? 'The expression she had in her eye had revealed what was in her mind.

Renni nodded her head. "Would you accompany me to one place?" Renni whispered again.

Risa nodded her head with tears forming in her eyes. 'Thank you, Mama.'

"Let's go . . .Renni reached her arms towards Risa, and pulled her closer to her body.

Getting out of the house and stopped in front of the family car, Risa was confused. The family chauffer was not there.

"Get in. What are you waiting for?" Renni asked as she got into the driver's seat.

"Where's Ume-san?" Risa asked.

"He didn't know we are going out. Get in." Renni asked again.

"Mama . . .You know how to drive?" Risa asked stupidly.

"Of course. If not, I would not be doing this, Risa-ko."

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The car made its way through the main roads of Kyoto. Looking out of the window, the usual infrastructure had slowly disappeared and the lights on the streets are started to fade as well. From moving on a horizontal road, Risa slowly realised that they were now moving uphills.

'It's here . . . The place where Mama always brings me to watch the stars.' Risa noted silently in her mind.

And they had finally reached the destination they both had in their mind. The mountain top.

"I just want you to accompany me here again . . . before I let you go, Risa-ko. We haven't been here together for years, since you graduated from high school . . ." Renni explained quietly as she took off the seatbelt, grabbed her handbag, and got off the car. Risa followed the same way, leaving her backpack on the seat and left the car, chasing after her mother.

The two of them walked in silence, further a little uphill where the car could not reach, until they reached their usual spot. They sat down in quietness for a long moment until Risa broke the silence.

"Mama. . . Why are you doing this?" Risa asked, almost inaudible as she licked her lips nervously.

Renni turned over and glanced at Risa with tears in her eyes. 'I'm sorry for creating so much suffering in your life, Risa. I could have stopped this from happening in the first place. If I had stood firm in my decision to stay with Ai-chan, Retora would not made you his official daughter, controlling your life in his way.'

"Mama?" Risa called out again, slightly louder than before.

Renni looked away from Risa and shifted her attention back to the starry sky. "Mama thought that Risa-ko has already grown up and you should have the authority to chose the kind of like you want. You were no longer the little girl who always come running into my room when you had nightmares at night."

"Mama . . ." Risa was touched to tears, that nothing else could come into her mind.

'Even though you are not my real daughter. . . I still loved you like you were mine, with you, always being such a sweetie pie. It's too hard for anyone to not to love you, Risa-ko. You know . . .It hurts my heart to let you go now . . . just like how my heart was hurt when I let Ai-chan go. . . ' Tears began to flow down freely off Renni's face.

"Mama . . . " Risa scooted closer to Renni and bear hugged her mother, lugging onto her mother's right hand, and burrowed her face into Renni's should and began to sob out her tears.

"Stop crying, Baby. . ." Renni coaxed as she ran her free hand into Risa's hair, messing them up in the process. "You always loved the stars too right? Let us enjoy this together . . .Before you leave." Renni finished.

Risa pulled her face away from Renni shoulder and looked at Renni with her teary eyes. And just like a little kid, Risa nodded her head once while bitting onto her lips before lying comfortably on her mother's shoulder.

"Thank you . . . Mama. . . "

"You don't have to thank me, Risa-ko . . ." Renni argued. 'I should be sorry . . .'  Staring fervently at the brightest star in the sky, another thought came into her mind. 'How have you been, Ai-chan? I hope that you are doing all well now . . .'

The warm shoulder of Renni was so comfortable and coaxing that Risa had fallen asleep in it. A strong breeze of wind came blowing onto their face, and that was when Renni had realised that Risa's hand was turning freezing cold.

'I almost forgot, this girl is sensitive to cold.' Renni thought lovingly.

Renni patted hands softly, waking the girl in the process. "Wait over here for me. I'll grab some blankets for you from the car." Renni whispered softly.

"Hmm Hmm." Risa whined as she shook her head. "I'm not cold, Mama. You don't have to do that." Risa continued as she rubbed her tired eyes.

"You're lying. You're hands are freezing." Renni reprimanded softly as she stood up. "I will be back in a while" With that, Renni left Risa alone at the mountain top and went back to the car.

'Mama's being so gently . . .' Risa thought. 'And to think I have been blaming her for my suffering . . .I should have known that Mama didn't want it to be in this way as well . . .You are such a baka, Risa.' Risa scolded herself mentally.

Focusing her attention back to the sky, images of Ai flashed back in her mind. 'I'm finally free. . . Will you be still there, waiting for me, allowing me to walk into your life again, Ai?'

20 minutes had passed, and Renni had yet to come back. 'This is weird . . .It doesn't take that long to walk to the car and walk back here. . .' Risa thought in her mind. Recovering from her position on the ground, Risa tracked back to the car only to find her latest nightmare.

"MAMA!"

Renni was lying on the ground 10 feet away from the car, face facing up, with blood flowing in profusion from a knife wound on the abdomen.

"MAMA!" Risa cried out again as she rushed forward to Renni, placing pressure on the wound to try to stop the bleeding. "MAMA?!"

Renni was in an unconscious state.

"MAMA?!" Risa cried out, running her bloodied hand to her jeans pocket, pulling out her mobile phone. "Mama, don't sleep, please don't!" Dialling the ambulance number with her shaky hands, Risa broke down into tears. 'Don't leave me in this way, Mama . . .'