[Chapter 14 - Close to the Heart]

                           

{Mama, can I sleep with you tonight? Ai is afraid to be alone tonight} Little took the writing board given to her with her into her parents room, and stood beside her mother.

"Yes you can, Ai-chan." The kind mother replied as she carried Ai onto the tall bed, and set Ai beside her own body. "Sweet dreams, my Ai-chan"

Snuggling into her mother's embrace, little Ai had fallen asleep immediately, with a slight smile sneaking its way through her immature face. 'Mama's embrace, it's always felt so warm, so close, so much peace . . . so much comfort. . . so much protection.'

The first light in the morning had shone into the through the uncovered window. ’Bright. . . It's so bright. . . ' Forcing her eyes to open, little Ai realised, she's alone. 'Mama . . . mama . . . Where are you?' Little Ai cried her mind. Frantically, Little Ai tried to get off the bed, wanting to search for her mother, but ended tumbling down the bed with a loud bang.

"Ai-chan?" The familiar women rushed towards her, holding her up to see whether did she injured herself during the fall. "Are you hurt anywhere, Ai-chan?"

Little Ai shook her head, and went forward to hug the women tightly, refusing to let go of her.

Her eyes shot open, snapping herself away from the dream. Tears fell from her eye naturally. 'They had left. . .'

As usual, Ai had been awaken by her blurry childhood memories in her dreams. Unlike the usual, Ai did not get of the bed immediately. Instead, Ai had not made a flinch since she had woke up. Glancing slightly upward at the girl who is sleeping beside her, a warm fuzzy feeling began to run across her face. 'She's sleeping so peacefully. I shouldn't move or do anything. She would be awaken by me.' Ai thought silently in her mind.

Risa snuggled closer to Ai while still her sleep, tightening the hold she had on Ai's waist.

'It felt so nostalgia to be held so tightly in my sleep . . .' Ai thought. 'It just like how . . . she always hold me in my sleep when I'm afraid, when I can't sleep. . .'

"I will say it again, if you are still doubting whether is it from the bottom of my heart, Ai-san. I love you, Ai-san " The voice of Risa rang in her mind. The confessions, leading Ai back to last night . . .

Ai froze as Risa leaned closer towards her. As Risa's soft lips came in contact to her cheek, the tears that she tried to stop moments before began to run down the same way again. 'Is this for real, Risa-san.'

' Will I be the only one to be able to wipe away the sorrow the you held in your hand And I really wish that those invisible scars of yours will disappear someday' The lyrics of the song Risa wrote came running back into Ai's mind.

. . .

"She's not a mute! She's just a special child. A special child that needs special attention. The doctor had said that her vocal cord is not damaged. There's no chance that she would be a mute. She's going learn how to talk bit by bits. She needs time. She needs us. Maybe we can move to a new environment."

. . .

"You do not need to work till so late at night, didn’t you? Ai-chan's asking for you for days. What should I tell her?" Her mother argued.

"She's a mute! I can’t accept that."

"She's not honey! The doctors said that Ai-chan can speak! There's nothing wrong with her vocal cords. She's not a mute, do you understand?" Her mother retaliated.

"Still, she hadn't made a cry in her life. I'm can't dear, it's hard to accept her. I do not know how to communicate with her, how to deal with her."

. . .

'Let's go hun. . . '

. . .

'Tick tick tick tick . . .

. . .

"Abe-san, she is weird! Why can't she just open her mouth and talk to us? We are not her minions . . ."

. . .

(Are you trying to insult us? I heard from the teacher that you are not mute! You are just choosing not to talk? Have you ever spare a thought for us?)

. . .

"Ah~ Here comes the mute girl. I wonder why did the principle even agree to have such a person in the school."

. . .

"Ne ne ne ~ Do you know how can you become a genius? Just hang around that dumb girl in the school. Look at Asami-chan! She's one good example!"

. . .

"Takahashi-san, we are very sorry to inform you that your application to our job is unsuccessful. We thank you for applying, but we can't really have you with us. It's going to create a lot of trouble of us . . . "

. . .

Her hands starts to tremble uncontrollably, just like the tears that are flowing down her cheeks. For the first time, she had allowed herself to cry so freely in front of someone. For some reasons, Ai hates to cry. Tears are a form of weakness to her. Being already weak in her mental state, she did not want anyone to know that she was weak. Allowing people to know that she was so venerable inside, was the last thing that she wanted it to happen. But all these will and determination she had all these years, had been broken into , at the appearance of Niigaki Risa.

And as Risa removed her lips from Ai's cheeks, Ai shivered. Pain from the years, unspoken incidents, unknown memories were all written in her tears. As Risa pulled Ai into her embrace, Ai broke into a series of silent sobs, releasing them all into Risa's shoulder.

The sudden bright flash of light startled Ai, causing Ai to pull herself away from Risa's shoulder. 'What was that?'

Swamps of media came surrounding the both of them, and Ai was getting uncomfortable about it. Risa's protective hands wrapped around Ai's shaky ones and gave her a tight squeeze, ensuring Ai that, she was there with her.

"Sorry. Please, no photograph taking!" Risa shouted out firmly, like how she was used to. The media backed off, at the sudden serious tone of Risa. Taking the chance, Risa guided Ai out of the crowd and walked away.

Looking at the hands that were holding onto hers, Ai broke down again. 'Will she always be there to hold me? Will there be one day, where she's tired of this silence, and she would walk out of my life?'

"Ai-san." Risa stopped and called out, as she noticed Ai was staring at their hands while trying to catch with her pace of getting away. "I will never let go of these hands, trust me." Risa promised as she held the pair of hands close to her left chest, close to her heart.

Ai nodded her head. 'Maybe this time round . . . This is really someone, I could trust?'

And when Risa had safely escorted Ai back to her apartment and was ready to leave for the hotel, Ai stopped her. Ai attached herself onto Risa, and that shocked Risa. "Is there anything wrong?"

(No.) Ai shook her head and signed as she pulled away from the hug she initiated.

"Did you want me to . . . stay with you tonight?" Risa guessed.

Ai looked really troubled for a moment and it did not remain unnoticed by Risa. 'It's better if I don't ask . . . What if she doesn't have the intention to stay?' Ai doubt.

"I will stay tonight then." Risa concluded.

"Hmmm. How long have you been awake?" A sleepy voiced Risa woke Ai from the memory from the previous night. Risa struggled to keep her sleepy eyes open and that made Ai to giggle silently at her attempt to.

(I just had to habit to wake up early) Ai signed

"Hmmm?" Risa whined softly, obviously had not caught what Ai had signed.

(Nothing. Just get back to sleep, Risa-san) Ai signed again.

"Hmmm?" Risa whined again, still not catching Ai's sign.

Ai just shook her head, indicating that it was nothing.

"Hmmm." Risa whined, nodding her head as she felt the motion. She snuggled back to the bed comfortably. and fallen back to sleep once again.

Ai slipped off the bed the two were sharing and sneaked into the toilet, preparing to wash up and start her day. Once she was done with the brushing of her teeth, Risa got back to the main living area of the studio apartment. 'What can I do? It's only 430 in the morning.' Ai sighed deeply as she thought. Turning to gaze at the bed, she thought, 'She looks so cute while she's sleeping.'

Ai walked towards the coffee table, picked up the drawing book from the table, and returned to the bed side. She sat on her ankles on the floor, by the bedside. She flipped the book to a fresh page, and began her pencil work on the fresh piece of white paper.

'Will you really be the one that I can trust all my past, all the hurts in? Would there be a day, where you will betray the trust I'm building right now?' Ai thought, as she traced the sleeping features of Risa on her paper. 'Could she be the one . . . Since the day we got to know each other better, I can't explain a lot of the things I did. . . comforting her about her parents, bringing her to the orphanage . . . All these . . . all these. . .' Why do I feel so comfortable around her?' Ai continued in her mind.

"Ai-chan . . . I know there's a lot of things you are keeping inside yourself, and are not telling me. But it's alright, do you know that? I won't mind that because I know . . . one day, there will be some other person who will step into your life. Someone who you can trust wholehearted. Always know that, okay?" The advice given by Yuko in her teenage years rang in Ai's mind. 'Are you that someone that Nakazawa-san is talking about?' Having her eyes set on her paper, focusing on the touching up of the final details of the sketch, Ai questioned.

"What are you drawing? Me?" The once was sleepy but now cheeky voice of Risa sounded, causing Ai to froze her pencil in the air. Ai looked up from her book, with her eyes widely opened. "Can I see?" Risa continued asking as she reached her hand out from her lying position on the bed to grab the drawing book from Ai.

Ai shook her head immediately, pulling the book towards her chest, hoping it would be out of reach from Risa's position.

"Meanie." Risa pouted. "I want to see. . ."

(No.) Ai signed stubbornly.

"I will get it in my own way then." Risa retorted playfully. She got up from her sleeping position from the bed and got off the bed, walking further away from Ai's position on the floor.

'Where is she going?' Ai thought. And suddenly, a pair of hands attacked her from her back at her waist, holding her tightly. Ai jumped at the sudden contact.

"Let me see please?" Risa asked in a childish voice, with her hands moving closer to the book Ai held close to her chest.

Ai shook her head violently, as she tried to wriggle out of Risa's hold - and she did, just before Risa manage to pull the book away from Ai.

(Not now. This is my book of memories. Until the day when I'm ready, I won't show anyone.)

Understanding that Ai needs more time before she would open up totally to her, Risa agreed. "Okay. But I must be the first one to see it."

(Okay.) Ai ended with a smile, causing Risa's smile to surface as well.

"Ai . . . " Risa called out and hesitated for a while before continuing "-san, do you have any change of clothes for me? I stinks from yesterday's competition costume."

Ai nodded her head, and walked towards her wardrobe, with the book still in her arms. She started working through the clothes and pulled out a few outfits for Risa to chose from.

"I will take this then." Risa decided, and took it with her into the bathroom.

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Ai looked nervously at Risa who was seated at her opposite seat. Risa picked up a piece of toast and took a big bit out of it. Whereas for Ai, she had yet to touch any of the food that was set on the table.

The two of them had decided to settle their breakfast outside, which leads them to be seated at a breakfast kiosk near Ai's apartment.

"Why are you looking at me in this way?" Risa asked as she looked away, pretending that she had not noticed Ai's stare on her all these while.

(Did you really meant it, when you say, you don't mind living in a world of silence?) Ai signed after a long while of hesitation.

(Yes. If silence is . . ) Before Risa could sign her answer, Ai stopped her.

(Don't do that. You have a nice voice. ) Ai stopped for a while, before continuing. (I like it.)

"Alright!" Risa beamed. "I really don't mind, Ai-san. Speaking is not the only way of communication. Silence can also be a form of communication."

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And there they were, walking down the streets of Tokyo, hand in hand. It was Risa's suggestion that the two of them should go out together and walk around. The vibration in Ai's handbag caused Ai to stop moving.

"What's wrong?" Risa asked as turned back to face Ai.

(Wait a while. I had a message.)

{Ai-san, sorry to disturb you, but is Risa with you? -Eri} Ai read of the screen of her mobile phone before typing swiftly her reply to Eri.

And the next moment, her mobile rang. It was an incoming call.

Passing her mobile phone to Risa, Risa answered.

"RISA! I can't believe you! You are definitely unbelievable! What kind of friend are you?" The loud voice of Eri exclaimed, causing Risa to pull the phone away from her ears. Ai giggled at the action while Risa blushed sheepishly. Pulling the phone back to her ears, the voice of Eri continued. "You ran out of the studio without collecting any of your belongings and stuffs. How am I suppose to contact you then? And do know what am I doing now? I'm packing your stuffs from the hotel room! I really pity myself as your best friend." Risa could totally sense Eri's pouting even over the phone.

"Okay. . .I sorry, Meme-chan. " Risa started off.

"Still have the cheek to call me Meme-chan?"

"Sorry, I mean, Eri-chan. I'm so sorry about that. . . And thank you for packing my stuffs. I owe you a big meal, okay. Anything you want, anything you choose. Is that good enough?" Risa coaxed.

"That's better. Anyway get back home before 7 tonight. I had ordered a cake to celebrate your victory." Eri continued.

"Really? You are best, Eri!"

"Of course, Ai-san can come along as well. No I should say, you make sure that she comes." Eri ordered.

"Hai! Wakarimashita! Ja ne~"

With that, Risa hang up the phone. "Eri and her antics." Risa laughed. "Anyway, she said we will celebrate together tonight. Come along too!"

Ai paused for a while. (Okay.)

"Yes!" Risa grinned.

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"Wait over here for me for a while, I will be back soon." The voice of Risa sounded  in her mind. Ai had been standing at the position Risa told her to for the past 15 minutes and there was still no sight of Risa coming back. 'Where is she . . .'

"For you!" A bouquet of flowers appear before Ai. "Do you like them?" Risa continued asking as she slipped her hands into Ai's.

Ai nodded her head. 'This is the first time . . . someone had actually gave me flowers. '

Without realising what she was doing, Ai tilted her head slightly upwards and placed a kiss on the taller girl's cheek. and ran away after that. "Wait for me, Ai-san! You are such a sly!"

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'She had done so much things for me for the past few days . . .And I had yet to express a single thanks to her.' Ai thought as Risa leaned her head on Ai's.

"Why isn't Eri back yet? I am hungry!" Risa whined like a young child, with a pout on her face.

'Just a simple thanks, you can do it, Ai.' (Ne, Risa-san, I have something to tell you.) Ai signed.

"What is it that you want to tell me?" Risa asked, pulling Ai closer to her as they sat down on Eri's couch.

Ai opened her mouth and before she could do what she had intended to, a continuous strong banging on the door interrupted her.

"I wondered who is that? It must be Eri forgetting her keys again." Risa guessed as she made her way to the door. 'Stupid Eri. You are always there to interrupt the best timing.'