[Chapter 24]

"Ai . . . chan?" Renni mustered all the courage that she needed and called out. She stood up from the couch and proceed towards the area where the two stood and came between them, with her body slanted slightly towards Ai. Renni tried to look into the eyes of Ai, with Ai desperately trying to look away from Renni. 'Are you my Ai-chan . . . ? Are you ?'

"So Oba-san do remember someone by the name of Ai." Eri snorted cynically as she crossed her arms. Renni turned and looked at Eri in confusion. 'How much did you know, Kamei-chan?"

(Eri-san . . . I said don't) Ai signed as tears began to form in her eyes. (Please don't.)

Feeling frustrated about Ai's stubbornness, Eri took a step forward and grabbed Ai by her wrist, shaking Ai lightly. "Ai-san, can you stop being so selfless for once? Can you be fair to yourself just for once? You don't have wrap everything to yourself, keeping all the sufferings to yourself. It's not your fault at all. Why are you taking all these suffering as your punishment? If there's someone who's deemed to suffer from these, it's definitely not you. It's those who had made these happened in the first place." Eri raised her tone slightly higher, turned and glanced at Renni for a second before turning back to Ai.

Ai began to sob silently. Her shoulders trembled every time she sniffled and took in a deep breath.

Renni had, too, broken into tears. "Ai-chan?" Renni broke out, causing Ai to turn and stare at Renni with her teary eyes. Renni brought her wobbly right hand towards Ai's face and began to caress Ai's left cheek gently. As Renni did that, a single tear started to trace down the same side of the face where Renni had caressed. Renni brought her other hand up towards Ai's face and cupped Ai's cheeks with her hands. "Ai-chan . . . I am sorry . . . I am really sorry . . . " Renni articulated between her own sobs as pull Ai into her embrace. "It's my fault. . . It's my fault. . ."

Ai shook her head in Renni's embrace. 'No Mama . . . It's not yours. It was never yours . . . ' And there, Ai had wrapped her arms around Renni's waist, buried her face into Renni's shoulder and began to sob uncontrollably. 'I never thought this day would come . . . that I can be in your embrace again, Mama . .  .'

Eri watched the scene from the side line, too, had tears on her face. 'Finally . . . She's no longer running away from her past . . .' Eri then left the area and back into her own room, giving the mother-daughter the privacy they may want. As she closed her doors, the thought of Risa came to her. 'Risa . . . Where is she now? Did she really found out something about her past, that caused her hide herself away from all of us? Come think of it, if all these had not happened, would I have met Risa 16 years ago? Would we have become such best friend like we are now?"

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After many failed attempts, Risa had finally gotten enough strength to stand up on her own. She exited the sleeping compound slowly in baby steps and went into the common area of the orphanage, where the children and Abe were in.

"Nee-chan!" The children called out, with sparkling smiles on their face, as Risa entered the common area. They rushed towards Risa and bombarded her with questions one over another, giving no chances for Risa to answer every one of them.

"Nee-chan, are you feeling better already?"

"Nee-chan, are you hungry?"

"Nee-chan, let's go out and play again when you're feeling better!"

"Alright kids, leave all these questions until tomorrow. Those who are done with your food, can you please bring your plates to the kitchen? " Abe came over towards Risa, saving her from the sea of children.

"Hai!" With that, the swamp of them began rushing out of the common area and into the kitchen, leaving Risa, Abe and a few more little ones who were still eating their food.

"I will go warm up your food for your, Risa-kun." Abe informed as she followed the children into the kitchen.

"You don't have to . . . I'm not hungry . . . " Risa tried to stop Abe but had ended up speaking to the disappearing figure of Abe. Risa stayed in the common area for a short while before she left the area for the backyard.

When Risa reached the backyard, she, instinctively, had went forward to fences she used to stand around with Ai. She sat down on the damp grass with her legs stretched out and directed her attention to the sky up high, gazing at the sky and stars that had connected her with Ai and her family.

"Nee-chan." A soft voice called out, causing Risa to snap her attention away from the sky and towards the source of the voice.

"Miyuki-chan?" Risa responded as she saw the tiny girl standing about ten feet away from her, with her little hands fidgeting the ends of her clothing nervously. "What are you doing out here? It's cold for little ones like you to stay out here." Risa continued.

Miyuki did not reply her. Instead, she closed the distance between them and were now standing right beside Risa. "Can - Can I sit down?" Miyuki asked softly between stuttering after a few moments of silence.

Risa nodded her head. As soon as Miyuki saw Risa's approval, she climbed herself over Risa and began to settle herself comfortably on Risa's leg. "Nee-chan." Miyuki called out again.

"Yes?" Risa responded, still very puzzled by the actions of the little girl who was now leaning her head against her chest.

"Nee-chan, are you feeling unhappy?" Miyuki asked fluently this time round.

Risa remained silent at the question.

"Why is Nee-chan feeling unhappy?" Miyuki continued asking. "Nee-chan looked so different without her smile."

"I am not feeling unhappy, Miyuki-chan." Risa lied as she ruffled the hair of Miyuki.

"You are." Miyuki pouted, not believing what Risa had just told her.

"Okay, I am." Risa confessed. "So what is Miyuki-chan doing out here?"

"MIYUKI-CHAN!" A loud voice echoed through the backyard. "OBAA-CHAN IS LOOKING FOR YOU! FASTER!"

"Ah!" Miyuki stood up from Risa's lap and turned to Risa. "Nee-chan, don't be unhappy. You have everyone of us here with you." Miyuki stated in her naïve tone before running back into the house, leaving Risa all alone once again.

'She changed so much just in around 2 months time . . . Two months ago, Miyuki-chan could barely speak. And now . . . She's actually here, trying to cheer me up. . . And here I am . . .still lost in my own world. . .'  Risa thought bitterly in her mind.

'If I am able to it, I would too, want to bring that smile to your face, Ai-san.'

The stars made Risa remember the promise she made within herself when she had chose to be truthful about her feelings a month ago. 'Smile? Yet the reality is that I had brought her more tears than smile all these years. From the day I became a Niigaki, I had brought her nothing but tears. Endless tears that she kept within herself. Endless sorrows that no one else could understand, except herself. To see her parents leaving her with another kid, how would that felt? No one would know . . . Not even me. . . ' Tears began to beam by her eyelids.

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Ai snuggled closely into the warm body lying beside her as her biological alarm clock began to wake up from the sleep. It was like a dream. A dream whereby her mother had never left her all these while. The sense of familiarity of the warmth beside her made her wished she would never wake up from this sleep, this surreal reality. Even though the dreams of the haunting past had stopped chasing after her ever since the day she was admitted into the hospital, she still could not sleep past 316 am. It had became a habit of hers. Ai opened her eyes looked up at the peaceful face of Renni. 'I'm satisfied with this. . .'

The mother-daughter had spent the whole night crying. No words were spoke. There was no need for any words. The years of guilt. The years of struggle. The years of pain. They were all expressed through the countless volume of tears that were shed. And eventually, the crying session ended when both had feel asleep simultaneously in each other's hold. The soft pacing of Renni's heartbeat acted like a hypnotising media, hypnotising Ai into a deep slumber sleep. The sound of familiarity, the sound of peace from her young had relived in her once again.

Ai slipped off the bed as careful as she could, preventing herself from making too large motion or noises that would wake Renni up from the peaceful sleep. She walked towards the study table and sat behind it. She pulled out the writing pad and pen from the first drawer when the violet box caught her attention. She placed the paper and pen on the table top and reached her hand for the familiar box. 'I never had a good look at it before. I had deemed this as a nightmare to me . . .Is this still a nightmare to me? Or is has became a gift of remembrance, in remembering what she had did for when she was still trying to get into my life.' Ai thought. Ai began to remove the cover of the purple box with care, revealing the iliac crystal aligned watch. Her body showed no fear for the sound of the second hand. 'It's . . .beautiful. . .' Ai placed the box on the table and began to work on the papers she took out, writing two long letters, for two person. When she had finished writing them, it was already five in the morning. She fold them up neatly and place it underneath the purple box. She then stood up from her seat and began to pack her belongings - a few sets of clean clothing, her sketchbook- into a simple duffle bag.

She came up to the dried roses by the window. Using her right hand, she pulled out one of the dried petals and placed it into the purple box. 'If I can chose what I can remember and what to forget, this is definitely one of the memory that I will want to take with me, wherever I go . . .' She covered the box with its lid and placed it into the duffle bag along with her other belongings. She then picked up the two letters and walked towards the bed where Renni was lying with her bag strapped across her shoulder. She placed one of the letter on the bedside table. 'Mama . . .Goodbye . . Thank you for giving one last good memory after I had decided to leave . . ." Ai thought sadly in her mind as she left the room. closing the door with care.

Once she was in the common living space, she walked towards the dining table and placed the second letter on it. With that, Ai approached to the main door, unlocked it and opened it. 'Thank you for everything that had happened . . .' With that, Ai left the apartment, towards the destination she had decided in her mind.

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The first light of the day shone into the study room through the bare window of the study room, causing Renni to slur slightly in her sleep. She strength out her hands, only to find the side where Ai used to lie was empty. Renni shot her eyes open immediately. "Ai-chan?" Renni called out. The call echoed in the considerably small room. "Ai-chan?" Renni got off the bed frantically, almost tripping off the bed, and was about to leave the room to the common living space where the pink paper on the bedside table caught her attention. She picked it up cautiously and flipped it open, revealing the contents of the letter to herself.

Mama

Thank you for giving me a wonderful dream last night.

When I opened up my eyes this morning, and there I saw you, I felt you right beside me. Everything felt so surreal. It was always only in my dreams where sleeping right beside Mama was possible. And you made it real for me this time round, Mama. Thank you. It has been a long time every since I had such a sweet dream. Thank you for everything, Mama.

I had never blamed anyone. Not even Papa for leaving me. It's my fault. It's my own disability. I did not blamed anyone for it. So, Mama, don't feel guilty about it anyone. Ai had grown up and survived all these years. Ai too can lived with all these for the rest of my life. I know Papa still cares for the reputation of the company very much. So . . .

I had already made the decision to leave, even before Mama had came in last night. When Mama came in last night, it just adds up to me resolution to leave. Mama, Ai had put down the past that had been holding onto life. Ai will leave this town of sadness, to a place faraway, where I can work hard to forget everything happened that had broke my heart; where I can work hard to overcome my psychological barrier; where I can work hard to search for the unheard voice I had. So do not be sad that I had left, Mama. I had left everything behind. You too, Mama. Stop holding the guilt that had lived with you all these years. Ai had never blamed you.

It never came across to me that I could have chance to hug you once again, to be acknowledged that I am your daughter. It had never. So Mama, I really thank you for the one last dream you gave me.

Ai

'Ai-chan . . . ' Renni thought. The fragile piece of paper trembled as she tightened her grip. Her heart clenches painfully within her left chest, causing her to slide down onto the floor. 'Ai-chan . . .'

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'No pranks on me today . .' Eri thought in relieve as she came out of her room into the empty common living space.  She stretch her body lazily. 'I will prepare breakfast today then!'  Eri thought as she walked past the dining table and was about to go into the kitchen when the same pink paper Renni saw caught her attention. 'What's this? This wasn't here last night.'  Eri wondered as she picked up the paper and opened it casually.

Eri-san

I never thought I need to do this. I never thought I would leave without telling it personally to you. I am really sorry about that. I'm sorry.

Remember I told you last night that I'm thinking about going to Niigata with Makoto last night? I actually had made the decision to go even before I told you so. I was having trouble on how am I suppose to break the news to you, until she came.

Eri-san, I am really thankful for what you had done for me in these past three months. There were things that you had done were out of your duties as a psychologist, and you did them without complaining. I thank you for your persistence, the persistence that made you keep going, pushing me to my limits when needed, making to acquire the courage I need to face the painful truth. The truth that my parents had left me for Risa. My heart still stings at the thought of it, but . . . it was not as painful as what it used to be. My heart had begun to accept the truth. I'm no longer running away from them. I really thank you for that, Eri-san.

Perhaps it was all planned beforehand by someone of authority, all these people I met in the past 3 months. If you are not my new psychologist, I guess . . . I wouldn't have known Risa, your best friend; the girl in my dream, who had her features blurred. Remember that you asked me, that I really liked Risa. I did not answered you that day. I am going to answer you now. Yes. I think I had really fallen in love with her. In all my life, I never had the courage to fall in love, always in fear that the other party would mind the fact that I am a mute, always in fear that the broken heart of mind had no rights to love someone else, when I had no courage to love myself, when my own parents could not even bear their heart to love me. I am always living in that fear, always trying search for the reason of being alive, until she stepped into my life. She stole my first kiss on our first encounter. She did some much things for me. She almost gave up her dreams for me. That was the first time in my life someone actually did that for me, for the little me whom I thought there was no reason for myself to be alive on this earth. She had plant herself within the pieces of my broken heart and mend them, placing them back into one piece again bits by bits.

I will never want her to know anything about this truth. It would be too much for her to handle. If there is someone who needs to take the consequences of the truth, I don't mind being the one. It was her smile who kept my going all these while. I don't want her to lose that smile. That was why I had chose to leave this town, to Niigata. So that I would never have the chance to see her again. So that she will never know this truth. I hope Eri-san, you will keep this a secret to her as well.

And lastly, I'm glad that you are going out with Miki-chan. She is an interesting person. And I'm glad that she is bringing the smile back to your face as well. I wish you two the best.

Really, Eri-san, no actions can be used to express the appreciation I had for you. And all I can do . . . is to wish you the best. Thank you for all these three months. It is going to be most unforgettably three months of my life. I will keep in contact with you. Until the day where I can truly say that I am over this, I will come back again. Thank you, Eri-san.

Ai.

"Baka!" Eri scolded as she finish reading the letter. 'Aren't you running away? When you said you are no longer running away from the truth.'

Eri took out her phone and began to type in send, writing a message to be sent to Ai.

*Thud*

A long bang echoed in the living room from the study room, causing Eri to drop the letter she was holding, dash towards the study room, and open the door in a swift motion. "Oba-chan!" Eri called out as she saw Renni lying unconsciously on the floor, with traces of blood staining her clothes at the abdomen area.

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'There's still one last place I need to go. . . ' Ai thought as she boarded the train. 'I can't leave without tell Baa-chan. . . '

The set of old newspaper that were lying beside her caught her attention. She picked it up and ran her eyes through the contents.

Niigaki Corporation's stock plunge history low straight after the opening of today's morning market when the marriage between Matsumoto Naoki and Niigaki Risa was revealed as a fraud by the Matsumoto Corporation. It was said that Niigaki Risa had went missing for a few days.

'Risa had gone missing? I did heard something like that yesterday. . . ' Ai thought worriedly in her mind as she returned the newspaper to its original position. The vibration of her mobile phone brought her back from the worrying thought.

{Ai-san. . . I saw your letter. But aren't you running away from the truth when you decide to go Niigata? And . . . there is a possibility that Risa may have known the truth . . . -Eri}

'A possibility that Risa may have known the truth?' Ai wondered in her mind.

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Risa woke up from her sleep and entered into the almost empty compound.

"Ah. Risa-kun, you had awaken." Abe commented. "Did you have a good night sleep? It's going to be noon soon. Majority of the older kids are in school already." Abe continued. "Would you like to help me in the kitchen in preparation of lunch for the younger kids?"

Risa nodded her head and followed Abe into the kitchen.

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"Are you okay?" Miki asked as she sneaked her arms around Eri from the back. It was lunchtime and Miki had manage to sneak out of the office without Yuko knowing and arrive at the hospital to accompany her love one. The two of them were sitting outside the private ward of Renni, while the doctors were inside doing their afternoon rounds.

"Hmmm." Eri whined lightly as she nodded her head. "It just made me wonder that whether if I am a hospital women." Eri continued, cracking a light joke that she hoped to lighten up the heaviness she felt in herself.

"Maybe." Miki played along, and had successfully earned a hard slap on her thigh. "You are the one who said that, not me." Miki pouted.

Eri giggled at Miki's pouting. As soon as she saw the familiar figure down the corridor nearing them. She immediately ply Miki's arm away from her waist and stood up. "Oji-san." Eri greeted.

"Where's Renni?" Retora asked.

"She's inside."

With that, Retora slide the room door open and entered the room.

"Who is he?" Miki asked curiously.

"The source of all the events that had happened in the past three months." Eri answered rhetorically, causing dozen of questions marks to appear above Miki's head literally.

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"Is she okay?" Retora asked the doctor.

"She's fine. Just some slight inflammation of her stitches of her abdomen. I had prescript antibiotics to be included in her drip, so there shouldn't be any serious problem now, sir." The doctor informed. "I will leave you two to have your privacy. Excuse me." The doctor continued and left the room.

"Why did you left the hospital at your own discretion? That's so dangerous." Retora concerned through his 'scolding'. "See what had happened to you now?"

"I saw the news . . . Why didn't you tell me that Risa is missing?" Renni asked through her sobbing.

"I didn't want to worry you. I had sent out teams to look for her. You don't have to worry too much." Retora continued.

"I - I had found Ai. " Renni blurt out suddenly. "She's alive . . . She's . . . "

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*Ding Dong*

The sound of the door bell echoed through the cottage.

"Ah . . . Risa-kun, I will leave you with these. I'm going to get the door." Abe informed as she dried her hands on her apron and left the kitchen.

Risa nodded her head systematically, not bothering whether Abe had seen it or not. 'When should I leave? I should be leaving soon. . . '

"Ai-chan!"

'Ai?' Risa panicked as she heard the name. 'I don't want to see her . . .  She hates me . . . It hurts more to see her saying that she hates me than it was in the dreams.' Risa continued as pulled the apron away from her neck and began to work on her legs, dashing out of the kitchen and into the backyard. She jumped over the fence and began to run away from the cottage, away from the presence of Ai.