[Chapter 13 - The Heart of the Silent]

"Risa! Aren't you excited?! The final competition is just 2 days way!!" Eri squeaked excitedly.

And all Eri got for reply was a monotonous agreement.

The pair of best friend was lying on Eri's bed, preparing to a night worth talk together that night as Risa would need to check into the hotel arranged by the TV station the day before the final competition.

"What happened to you, Risa? You don’t sound excited at all." Eri complained. "You are going to achieve your dreams, have you realised that?"

And all Eri got again was the same reply.

"Why are you not excited then, Risa?" Using another form to tackle the problem, Eri asked again.

"Hmm hmm. Who said I am not excited. I am excited for the competition." Risa finally spoke up.

"But you don’t sound like you are excited at all! What's up with that monotonous replies you had been giving me? " Eri continued. "Don't tell me that you are nervous . . . Like I would believe in that."

"Nee, Eri, if I'd won the competition, what would that mean?"

"Isn't being a singer what you dreamt of, Risa. Isn't that the reason why you ran away from home? Isn't that the reason you appear in front of my house in the middle of the night, just to irritate my life?" Eri answered, and ended with a joke in the end, hoping that Risa would be cheered up a little.

"Yes. It is my dream to become a singer. . ." Risa reflected.

"Then isn't that enough? It's your dream. stop thinking too much nah, Risa-chan."

'But . . . so what if my dream is fulfil when she's still not talking to me. '

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"Everyone, please gather over here!" The producer of the show called out in the studio. "The next rehearsal will the last rehearsal before the competition tomorrow. We will not be giving any studio rehearsals before the actual competition tomorrow, so do cherish this last rehearsal to pick up any uncertainties any of you had, is that clear?"

"Hai!" All of the contestants responded in unison.

"Alright, now I will announce the sequence of appearance for the final competition. Number 1, Kusumi Koharu-san."

"Hai!" Upon the mention of her name, Koharu raised her hand and shouted to acknowledge her presence

"Number 10, Niigaki Risa. You are going last for the competition."

"Eh?" Risa first responded as she snapped out of the daze. "Hai! Wakarimashita." Risa continued. 'Why am I going in last?'

"Alright, each and every of you are sure which sequence are you all singing, right?" The producer continued asking.

"Hai!"

"Get ready, Number 1" The producer called out.

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"Niigaki-san!" Hiroki called out as Risa prepared to leave the studio and head back to the hotel that had checked in in the morning.

Turning herself around to face Hiroki, Risa responded, "Yes, Hiroki-san?"

"You voice isn't coming out today. Are you alright?" Hiroki concerned.

"Ah, perhaps my vocal chords were not warmed up yet. Sorry for worrying about that, Hiroki-san." Risa suggested a reason for her down standard performance at the final rehearsal moments ago, though deep within herself, she knew what was the actual reason for that.

"Then, make sure they are warmed up before the competition tomorrow. You have the qualities to win. Don't lose it to yourself."

"Hai. Wakarimashita." Risa nodded her head at the advice given by the vocal coach. "Otsukaresamadeshita."

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Back alone in the hotel room, Risa laid on her back on the soft comfy bed, with her eyes fixed on the pearl white ceiling of the room. 'I wanna to see Ai-san. . .' Turning over, she stared at the ticket and backstage pass that were placed on the  bedside table.  'I want her to come and watch me live . . . I won't be able to sing that song without her being on site. It would means nothing to me if she continues to stay away from me. Even if I win. it would still meant nothing. . . '

Having her mind decided, Risa got up from the bed, grabbed the tickets from the table, her sweater from the back of the door, the key card and ran of the room, towards, the lobby and out of the hotel.

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'Finally, the final contract is done.' Ai thought as she walked down the lonely busy street of Tokyo. It was already 8 pm in the night, but yet, the street was still filled with people, each of them being into their own whole - Couples who walked in pairs together, married personnel rushing down the streets back home to join their family at the table, single man and women, like Ai, who had just finish their worth of overtime at work. 'Tomorrow is the competition already. . . and Iida-san had asked me to go with her to be on site, to wait for the results of the competition . . .'

'Takahashi-san, would you accompany me down to the studio tomorrow for the competition? I know it's a weekend and it's not a working day, but if you are free, I would like you to be there.' Kaori asked as Ai stood before her work table, with the completed contract in her hand.

'I still don’t know how to act around her. The further I am away from her, the more I want to see her. Yet when she's around, I can't help but to remember how she had walked out like they did, and the more I want to get away from her. What on earth do you want, Ai!' Ai reflected in her mind, and thought back her answer to Kaori's question.

{Sorry Iida-san, I don't feel like going. You can ask Himadase-san you go with you. I think he is very interested in this project the company is investing in.}

"If that's so, I will not force you to do so, Takahashi-san. Thank you for staying back till so late to finish up with the last minute amendments. I'm so sorry for keeping you back today." Kaori continued, while packing her stuffs into her handbag. "Do you need a ride home or anything? It's so late at night already, and I don't think it's safe to have you to return home alone by yourself."

Ai shook her head, giving her one of best smiles, indicating that she was fine to be left alone.

"You sure? I won't mind sending you back, Takahashi-san." Kaori insisted.

Picking up the paper from the table, Ai wrote {It's alright Iida-san. I can get back by myself. I don't live very far away. You should just head straight back home. Your family is waiting for you.}

"If that's the case, I will see you at work on Monday then." Kaori finished off.

And Ai nodded her head in response.

Snapping back from the memory that had just happened not too long ago, Ai realised that the street is no longer as busy as it was few minutes ago. 'Ah. this is better . . . At least there's not so many people on the street. . . I could walk with slightly more ease as compared to just now.' Ai thought.

Tilting her head upwards, Ai glance at the sky through the tall infrastructure of the city, hoping to note any stars in the sky. 'I guess you can't see the stars in the city after all . . . '

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'Would she be still at her workplace at such a time?' Risa thought doubtfully as she closed in to the building where Ai work. 'I will just need to try my luck then.'  Risa encouraged herself as she continued to jog slowly down the street of Tokyo.

'Is that Ai-san?' Risa questioned as she saw a familiar back stopping in the middle of the walkway and had her attention adverted to the sky up above. Decided to trust her instincts, Risa shouted out, "Ai-san."

And Ai had turned at the familiar call. Recognising the voice that had just called her, Ai frowned. She began to pick up her speed in walking, after sensing the attempt to close the distance between them by Risa.

"Ai-san" Risa called out again but Ai had showed no signs of slowing down.

"Takahashi Ai!" Risa screamed, successfully getting the attention of the minute people walking down the street. And that too, had finally stop Ai in her tracks. 'Finally.' Risa thought as she tried to closed that distance.

However, at this point of time, Ai turned around and signed a stop sign to Risa. And Risa stopped. (What is it again, Niigaki-san?) Ai signed desperately, hoping that Risa will stopped moving closer to her and keep popping up in her life.

"I know this was late and probably useless now, but I am really sorry about that day. I really didn't meant to do that. I just. . . " Risa tried to explain, but words just can't come out from her mouth.

(Don't even bother about that, Niigaki-san. You don't step on someone's foot and walk away, only to come back 3 days later to say sorry. Things don't work this way.) Ai signed, with tears threatening to fall from her face.

"What if - what if that day, I told you, I like you, what would you do?" Risa, mustering all of the courage that she needs, clutching the tickets tightly in her hands and asked.

(Don't say things that are not going to happen.) Ai signed. (I'm not here for you to fool around, please, Niigaki-san)

(Then I will not say it. If this the way you would want a conversation to continue, I will do it this way. If this the way of life you have, I will live it together with you in the same way.) Risa signed back to Ai. And that left Ai surprised. (I like you. This is the fact and the truth and nothing other else. ) Noticing the shocked expression on Ai's face, Risa knew this was not the right conversation to continue with. (Will you be there tomorrow to watch my competition?)

Ai shook her head stubbornly. Tears that were held back had already made their way down her flawless cheek. Using the back of her hand, Ai wiped away the stubborn tears. (I have no intention to go and I will not go) 'She must be kidding when she said she like me. Why would she even like me. A cheerful girl like her, shouldn't have like someone like me. No.'

(I want you to come. I will not speak a word, until I see you tomorrow at the studio. Please, everything I had said today, are all from the bottom of my heart. I won't sing tomorrow, until I see you.) With that, Risa walked towards closer to Ai, despite Ai's request of her staying away, and placed the tickets firmly into Ai's hands. (I really hope to see you tomorrow, Ai-san.) Risa signed, looking seriously into Ai's eyes.

With that, Risa turned back to the direction she came from, and began to walk back to the hotel. 'I'm not gonna to speak. If this is the kind of world you would like to live in, I don't mind living in the silence together with you, Ai-san'

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'Mama . . . Don't leave Ai alone . . . Mama . . . say, you will come back for me right?' Little Ai stood at her bedroom door, and watched as she main door of the house closed on her . . . 'Mama . . . '

" I'm . . . I'm sorry for the impulse visitation just now. I guess . . . I shall leave now. Sorry about that, Ai-san." And following that, was the sound of the closed door.

Ai jerked up from her bed. Tears were streaming down her face like the water in the river. 'Can all these please stop . . ' Ai begged silently, wiping away her tears with her shaky hands.  Reaching over to the bedside table, she intended to grab the pack of tranquiliser that were placed there, to stop the shaking of her hands. Then she remembered. 'I'd promised Nakazawa-san that I won't abused them.'  With that, she pulled back her hands back to herself.

And as she were doing that, her eyes caught something familiar beside the pills. 'The competition.' Ai remembered as she saw the ticket. Picking them up and placed it before her eyes, Ai thought, 'Should I go? She said . . .'

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Risa stood at the lobby reception area of the studio level, waiting for Ai to appear at the studio. The live broadcast will starts in an hour time, and Risa, had yet to find Ai's presence in the place. 'Will she come? I really want her to come. If she's not coming, I won't be participating. I had decided on that.'

"Risa? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the dressing room preparing for the competition?" Eri asked as she stepped out of the elevator and saw Risa standing leaning against the wall, in daze.

Risa did not spoke, but just nodded her head and allowed Eri to drag her back to the dressing.

"How was your day yesterday? Managed to get some sleep or was it a sleepless night due to the excitement?" Eri continued to ask as the both of them were walking side by side.

(It was okay.) Risa signed.

And Eri looked at Risa like she is an alien.

"Why are you signing?" Eri exclaimed, with her eyes shot to its maximum size.

(I -) Risa was interrupted before she could explain why was signing.

"Niigaki-san, please go and have your make up and done, now, immediately." The  floor manager exclaimed, resulting in a flustered Risa running down the halls and back to the dressing room. "And this lady over here, what are you doing over here? I don’t' recognised you as any participants or stuff of this programme. Do you know that this place is strictly out of access to the public unless authorised?" The floor manager continued.

"I - I got my backstage pass. This is considered authorised right?" Eri showed him the pass that were hanging on her neck. "I will make my move now." With that, Eri chased after the disappearing Risa. 'Geez. That person is scary. He's even scarier than my boss . . . '

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Ai sat on the bench just a few minute walk away from the TV station. She had been sitting over there for an hour, and had yet to make up her mind. 'Should I go? It's no harm going right? Why did she wants me to be there in the first place?'

'Maybe I shouldn't go.' Ai thought as she stood up from the bench. 'But she said if I'm not there, she's not gonna to speak, she's not gonna to sing later.' The other side of her mind countered, causing Ai to sit down back to the seat she was seated previously. 'Are you sure that you can believe in her? She could be just mentioning about it.' Ai made a silent whine as she shook her head. 'So should I go or not go?'

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"Risa why are you talking? Why are you signing?" Eri asked as she sat beside Risa at the make-up table. The make-up artist was helping Risa to put on her make, just some final touching up.

"Alright, you're done. " The make-up artist informed.

Risa bowed her head to show her thanks. Eri pulled Risa to face her. "Why are you signing? "

(I've promised, until I see her, I won't speak a word.) Risa signed.

"EH?!" Eri exclaimed, still not getting the idea Risa was trying to put across to her. "Who is that her? And why?"

"Five minutes to live broadcast. Can everyone please gather at the studio?" The floor manager informed.

(Got to go. See you later.) Risa finished, leaving Eri in her own state of confusion. 'EH?! If you are not going to speak a word, how are you going to sing for the competition later, Risa?'

Realising that she was the only one left in the dressing room, Eri hurriedly chased after the group that had left. She remained in the backstage while the contestants are on the stage, receiving final information about the things to follow.

'Why Risa? What had happened again? Could it be Ai-san that she's talking about?'

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'Maybe I should not go . . . She's probably kidding with me. . .' Ai decided. Looking at the ticket, she realised. 'Ah, the competition had started. I don't think I could get, even if I had decided to go.' Placing the pass and the ticket back into her handbag, Ai stood up. 'But . . .what if what she had said is true, Ai?'

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"Number 4, please get ready. You are next to get on stage." The stage assistance called out.

"Hai!"

"Risa, which number are you?" Eri asked.

(10.) Risa signed as she had her eyes scanning the audience seats from her position at the side of the backstage, hoping to find the girl that she wants to see the most.

"Still not talking, Risa?" When are you intending to stop this?" Eri reprimanded, getting slightly angry. "Didn't you say it's your dream to win this competition and become a singer? Tell me, what are you doing now?"

(I had said, I'm not gonna to speak a word until she comes. If she's not here, nothing else matters to me anymore. Not anymore.) Risa signed with determination.

"Are you talking about Ai-san?" Eri questioned, with a slightly shaky voice.

Risa nodded her head. (I think I love her. I never had the courage to admit that. I only told her I like her. But right now, all I want is her. All I want is to help her, to heal her, to save her from all these sufferings she had suffered all these years. I want to know her more. I really want to protect her. But. . . ) Tears began to flow when Risa had reached this part. (She's not gonna to let me to do it. I have hurt her unknowingly. She's not here. She's not coming.)

"Risa . . ."

"Why are you crying?" The make-up artist came over and interrupted Eri. "You're ruining your make-up!" With that, the make-up artist dragged Risa further back into the backstage.

'I need to help her. . . '

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As Ai began to make her first move away from the bench, the vibrating phone in her bag stopped her.

{Ai-san, are you going to come for Risa's competition? - Eri}

Deciding to be firm on her decision, Ai typed in her answer. {No. I am not. Sorry -Ai}

Almost immediately, Eri replied. {Can you please be here. Risa needs you. She's not speaking a word. Not until you are here, that what she said. Please - Eri}

{Sorry, Eri-san. I don't think I would make any different. I'm sorry. I don't think I would be able to help. - Ai}

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{Ai-san, Please. . . - Eri} Eri sent in the same message the fouth time, only to have the same response as the previous three times. 'I'm sorry. . .' Eri read. 'Gosh! The two of them are just as stubborn at times. One is refusing to talk. One is refusing to come. ARGH!'

A pat on her shoulder brought Eri to her attention.

(What are you doing, Eri?) Risa signed.

"Done with your make up?" Eri asked. 'Still as stubborn, I see.'

Risa nodded her head. 'She's still not here yet.'

"Number 9 is off the stage now. Number 10, be prepared to go on stage in 8 minutes time." The assistance informed.

(I think she's not coming. If she's not coming, there's no meaning for me to sing this song. I gonna to tell the producer I want to drop off.) Risa finally signed, as she closed herself towards the producer of the programme.

"Takahashi-san, why are you here? I thought you said you didn't want to come?" Risa heard a familiar voice said. Turning to face the entrance of studio, Risa saw Kaori, standing beside a out-of-breath Ai. 'She came!'  Joy were leaping out from Risa's heart. "Do you need water?" Kaori continued asking.

Ai shook her head as she allowed her eyes to run across the studio.

"Ai-san!" Eri ran towards Ai.

(Where's Risa-san?) Ai signed, with her trembling hands.

Eri noticed Ai's hands were trembling and she began to worry for Ai. "Are you okay, Ai-san, your hands. . ."

(I'm fine. Where's Risa-san?)

And Eri showed the direction where Risa was.

(You came. I am really happy that you came.) Risa signed, with tears filling her eyes once again.

(BAKA. I'm already here. You've seen me. So speak.)

"I . . . "Risa started but was interrupted by the stage assistance.

"Number 10. You're next. 3 minutes."

"I need to go . . . Please stay . . ."

(I will and please go) Ai signed, still not allowing any emotions to surface on her face.

"Let's go into the audience seats together and watch her, Ai-san" Eri came over and suggested. Ai said nothing, but just nodded her head.

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"And now, let's welcome contestant number 10, Niigaki Risa, with a song called Soradokei (Sky watch)"

Risa walked out from the backstage, holding her microphone stand, and walked towards the center of the stage. (This song is for you, Ai-san.)

Looking outside the window, watching the stars

Keep on thinking on the things about you

You too may have realised

that the season had changed quickly

And right now

I'm going to conveyed this unchanged feelings of mine

through this letter

Reaching the chorus of the song, Risa began to let her eyes to fix on Ai's

Even though this may be a common way of saying

But

This is what I am feeling

Even though I could not express it very well

Happiness

Always be with you

Moving into the second verse, Risa could no longer be bothered by the director's signal to face the camera. She only had her vision set on one person - Ai.

'Is that true? Will happiness be always be with me?' Ai thought sadly in her mind as Risa sang the chorus.

For example

If I am able to fly freely

under this sky of mine

I will be able to fly immediately

to the source of your tears.

Nee

Do you understand that

You are not alone

I will always be by your side

Even though you are surrounded with saddnes

but because of your strong personality

you are always smiling

However I know that

the truth is that your heart is really hurting

By the end of the second chorus, the water works of Ai had already began its work. 'Don't say that please, Risa-san.'

Upon reaching the bridge, Risa could notice that Ai wanted to leave the area, only to end up battling with Eri, who used all her might to keep Ai beside her. 'Thank you, Eri. I owe you a drink. . .'

Will I be the only one to be able to wipe away

the sorrow the you held in your hand

And I really wish that

those invisible scars of yours

will disappear someday

'And this is really my one and only wish, that one day, all the sadness, all the sorrow will disappear . . .Ai-san' Risa thought as she sang.

'Am I really worth of all that, Risa-san. Can I trust with the sorrows, the pain, the scars that were left behind by them into your hands?'

Once again

Even though we do know what tomorrow will bring about

But know that the morning will always be accompanied by it

Why not lets laugh like it's impossible

You are still you after all

Even though this may be a common way of saying

But

This is what I am feeling

Even though I could not express it very well

Happiness

Always be with you

With that, Risa ended her last note. Tears were visible in her eyes. 'I did it. Have you receive the message my heart had been wanting to tell you all these while?

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"And now, we will announce the winner of the competition, and she is . . . Number 10, Niigaki Risa!" The announcer announced, and the crowds went into a huge roar of applause.

"Niigaki-san, congratulations "

Risa was being shoved forward by one of the participants. 'I won? Are you kidding me?' Risa thought.

"AHH!!! RISA!!!!!!!!!" Eri screamed and up from her seat, like a little girl, causing the girl beside her to at her with shock. "Ai-san, aren't you excited? Risa WON!" Eri turned around and shook Ai violently. Realising what she was doing, Eri stopped. "Ah. Sorry."

(It's alright) Ai signed, and tried to give a smile to Eri.

"So Niigaki-san, how do you feel about winning this competition?" The host asked.

"I'm very happy. It's like a dream come true for me." Risa answered, while trying to suppress her tears of excitement.

 "Is there anyone you would like to thank?" The host continued.

"Yes. First is my best friend, who had all the way, supported me through my nonsense and always be there for me, when I need someone to talk to, someone to irritate with. And the other person, is her." Risa continued, with her eyes fixed on Ai. "Without her, I wouldn't have been truthful to my own feelings. Without her, I would have known how fortunate I am throughout my whole life. Without her, I wouldn't have courage to sing this song today. Thank you, Ai-san" Risa finished.

The camera had zoomed its focus on Ai. Ai realised that she was on the screen, panicked. Speedily, she stood up from the seat and ran out of the studio.

"Ai-san! Eri shouted. She wanted to chase after Ai, but was blocked by the people sitting beside her.

Realising that Ai had ran out of the studio, Risa dropped the microphone onto the ground, and picked up her speed to chase Ai. "Ai-san!" Risa cried as she ran out of the studio.

"Niigaki-san!" The director was shocked.

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"Ai-san!" Risa cried out, panting heavily to catch her breath. 'She surely runs fast.' Risa thought silently in her mind.

Ai had ran out of the TV station and now running on the streets.

"Takahashi Ai" Risa screamed, using the same way to get Ai's attention like the way she did yesterday.

And Ai did stop.

'Finally . She runs really fast ne.' Risa thought as she quickly closed the distance between them. "Why are you running away?"

(Why are you chasing me?) Ai asked. Her face was covered with sweat and tears. Her hands were shaky and trembling.

"Because you had ran away, that why I'm chasing, Ai-san." Risa replied as she reached out her hands, wanting to wipe away the tears off Ai's face. "Why are you crying?"

Ai squirmed as Risa tried to touch her face. (Nothing.)

Silence filled in, with the two of them, looking at each other in the eye.

"I will say it again, if you are still doubting whether is it from the bottom of my heart, Ai-san." Risa broke the silence, seemingly to understand the uncertainty that was running in Ai's mind through the look in her eye. "I love you, Ai-san" Leaning forward towards Ai, Risa kissed Ai lightly on her cheeks and stayed there for awhile, until she tasted salty tears of Ai.

Pulling herself back, Risa was presented with a tear-stricken Ai, sobbing silently. Not knowing what she should do, Risa embraced Ai into a hug, allowing the slightly shorter girl to lean on her shoulder.